Friday, October 02, 2009

The Final Meltdown In The District Of Columbia


I really wanted to avoid a third straight "manifesto". For as sick as you may be of reading them, believe you me, I'm more sick of writing them.

And while there's no "Manifesto Part III" coming on this site per say, "Manifesto Part III" spontaneously came out at Nationals Park on Wednesday night after Frankie gave up the grand slam to Justin Maxwell. It came out in part because I was able to move up six rows to get right by the field. I yelled at anyone in blue and orange, and I lost my mind ... plain and simple. It was two days worth of frustration which topped off a season's worth of frustration piled on to three seasons worth of more frustration. It's like a Famous Bowl from KFC ... a whole bunch of slop thrown in a bowl (or in this case, a Washington Nationals ice cream helmet).

I lost my mind to the point that I wouldn't be surprised if this ends up on You Tube somewhere down the line. But as I've said, the anger was misplaced. These players, for the most part, have no business being in the majors much less on a pennant contender. The players that are bonafide major leaguers that are still here are either physically beat up, mentally beat up, or have been possessed by the soul of Aaron Heilman. Or in Frankie Rodriguez's case, all three. These are traits whose fault lies very little with the players on the field. (As I know from personal experience, when Aaron Heilman's soul envelops your body, there's very little you can do.)

The anger really belongs to the person who manages this team, the person who put the team together, and most of all, the people who own this team. But with the latter three not even in town (I think), and our manager rushing off to most likely record new bits for Dial-a-Joke, the players were all that were left. So they caught the brunt. And you must understand that Maxwell's grand slam topped off two days of baseball hell. First came Elijah Dukes' catch where you can clearly see me in the front row hoping to catch a home run, which basically makes Dukes Michael Jordan, and me Orlando Woolridge. I was posterized.

Then I realize that that former Yankee punk Tyler Clippard was the winning pitcher. Tyler Clippard has seven major league victories in three years. I was a witness to two of them. I loathe Tyler Clippard ... irrationally, but still.

Then came Wednesday. I was with an old buddy whom I hadn't seen in years, and never down in his new home in the Beltway. The last game we went to together was Game 5 of the Subway Series. We tried every single rally hat in existence, and some that weren't invented yet. We switched hats for the last inning, and if Mike Piazza's last out had cleared the fence, we were keeping each other's hat.

We didn't try that in the bottom of the ninth on Wednesday (since it worked so well the first time), but he was confident that we had the game in the bag as Frankie was facing Ryan Zimmerman. If he was confident, that was good enough for me. I needed an excuse to wash away all of the nonsense of the season and pretend, just for a few minutes, that it was a big game and we actually had a shot of winning it. Zen awashed me ... until BB-Rod and Maxwell combined to make it all rush back to me.

That's when I flipped out. Look, I realize it's not my birth right to see a win every time I go on the road to see the Mets. But for crying out loud, give us something this month ... anything. One warm and fuzzy memory to take to the winter? Just one? Especially when the all-star closer has a two run lead in the ninth?

No. The Mets are the Washington Generals. Think about it: The Nationals, a team with 100 losses and zero to play for, are running around like they've won the World Series and throwing pies at each other, happily throwing t-shirts to the fans. Meanwhile the Mets are playing because the schedule says so ... and they look like it. Who's fault is that? Johan Santana beat the Rockies 7-0 on July 30th. Since then, they have the worst record in the N.L. The San Diego Padres, with guys who should be in A ball, are 33-23 since that date. The Reds, similarly horrible, are 31-26 in that span. Oakland? 32-25. All aforementioned teams had nothing to play for by the time July 30th rolled around, like the Mets. Yet they've decided to show up. The Mets? 18-41. How long are we supposed to lean on all these injuries as a crutch? Eighteen and forty-f***ing-one. That's when cornstarch was patented!

Your manager has put a ton of stock and spent team meetings discussing finishing strong and playing to win. What has that gotten you? 18-41!!! And where has it gotten Nick Evans?

Get comfy, Nick.

You mean to tell me there's no at-bats for Nick Evans on an 18-41 team? There's room for Maxwell and Ian Desmond on the Nats. But Nick Evans can't break this sad sack lineup?

***

Let me digress for a second. Can I tell you that we got free t-shirts on Tuesday and free fleeces on Wednesday for the Fan Appreciation Day that we don't have (sorry to keep harping on that, it bugs the ever loving crap out of me.) Now I want you to tell me what you see, or more importantly, what you don't see:


What? A giveaway not slathered with the words "Spongetech" or "US Gold Dot Com" or some other corporate sponsor? You mean teams that give away things to their fans just for the sake of giving them away still exist? Wow!!! Look, I understand the ways of the world ... corporations pay for these things so that you can enjoy them. Bla bla bla. Then how can a smaller market team that draws nothing like the Nationals able to do this? Did they just have some leftovers lying around? Or do the Nationals just simply ... appreciate their fans? What do the Mets fans get?

We get our owners packing up the pitching rubber from Citi Field and presenting it to Mariano Rivera to commemorate his 500th save. No Mets hall of fame inductions since 2002, but Mariano Rivera gets our pitching rubber. "Congratulations on kicking us in the groin, can we bronze your foot?" I mean, what's next ... are we going to plate Luis Castillo's glove in gold and present it to Mark Teixeira for hustling all the way on the dropped pop-up? Or maybe we could dip the broken bat that Clemens threw at Piazza in encrusted diamonds and present it to Roger when he's inducted into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame. Ooh, I know! Let's take the DVR that I recorded Wednesday's game on, have me sign it, encase it in glass, and send it to Justin Maxwell so that he can watch his home run over and over and over again. And let's honor Adam Dunn for his bases loaded walk since we didn't sign him.

Oh, they'll decrease the ticket prices ... what a convenient announcement to make after looking like dogmeat this weekend. But now they have a built in excuse if they do indeed cut the payroll. See, trust nobody.

If the team wants to show their appreciation to their fans, here's an idea for the rest of the season: three forfeits. Just don't show up. Nobody will know the difference.

I'm sorry, I guess this was Manifesto Part III. But I'm just getting started. Once this wretched season is done, there will be plenty more to discuss. You can count on that.

16 comments:

mistermet said...

brilliant and spot on as usual, metstra...i have been following this train wreck by means of the interweb all this month and i'm glad that i haven't invested my TV watching time (or money) in them.

it is a very rough time to be a mets fan and there isn't a whole lot to be optimistic about. whether it is the money hungry/blind ownership, or the bumbling GM or the manager who puts players in his doghouse because HE DOESN'T PLAY THEM (is Nick Evans really that bad a person? is he wanted somewhere for murder or something, and the team is just letting him hide out in the clubhouse under cover?). even the "star" players are falling apart...BB-Rod has been wretched since Luis Castillo dropped that ball at Mini Yankee Stadium and even DWright has become a major question mark...where is his power at and what's with the upswing in K's? just an awful year all around...let's hope this is some sort of mirage or something and that this is the year the luck swings our way (because apparently every bit of luck has been in Philadelphia the last 3 seasons).

scary times in Metsville...i hope Omar's brought his shovel, because he has a lot of digging to do to get out of this gigantic hole he's dug himself into.

donald said...

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it-Santayana

The Original CTRGGRDonald
in other words, get ready for more crap in 2010, cuz Omar and Jerry are still here >:(

Mack said...

great post

MetFanMac said...

Omar would have brought his shovel but Bernie Madoff took it.

My Endy Chavez's Heathen Gods hypothesis still stands.

Anonymous said...

Amen. Let's Go Rangers!

Coop said...

To theDonald - I just had a conversation with a friend (mets fan) about the team. Sure, fire Jerry. Fire Omar while we're at it. Bring in Paul Depodesta, bring in Kim Ng, heck bring in Billy Beane, Dave Duncan and while we're at it, we'll hire Tony LaRussa with Larry Bowa as his bench coach! It all does not take away from the fact that the Wilpons are a bunch of pussies who have no idea what the fans want, claim that they do and still think that sweetening the pot somewhat by lowering ticket prices (which is what they should have been doing anyway -- prior to 2009 at CitiField) will make us forget. Never forget never forget! As long as we have people like 'Damus keeping it real, we won't. Never forget!!

Anonymous said...

Touche Metstradamus! This post is absolutely perfect. We as Mets fans have reached our breaking point, and for our own sanity we have turned away. This lifelong fan honestly doesn't know if I will be able to even watch the games next season - it's just too painful. My choice is to continue loving the sport and become a fan of another team (which I would never have thought about in a zillion years before this year), or just ignore the sport entirely (like I did this year). PLEASE PLEASE WILPONS, SELL THE TEAM!

Schneck said...

Great post as always.

I did receive an email from the Mets titled "3.15+ Million Thanks." There is a video and the message: "With the 2009 season concluding this weekend, the Mets thank you for your support during our Inaugural Season at Citi Field." Just below that it says "Buy Tickets Now."

This is what we get. I think I will respond with 3.15+ million middle fingers.

Nigel said...

You rule Metstradamus! I live in Arkansas, and have been a Met fan since 1984. I hate the Arkansas Razorbacks, but they are looking less disgusting as this Met organization crumbles. I still have been watching the games, finishing a 12 pack by the 8th. Drinking hard till that point convinces me I am watching Fletch 2.

Metstradamus said...

Nigel, if drinking hard makes the Mets look like Fletch 2, I'd hate to see the movie the Mets look like to you while sober.

Actually, I've already seen that movie. That "War of The Worlds" garbage that Tom Cruise was in. Awful.

Nigel said...

Ha! Yes, but have you seen Ted Williams' frozen head, balanced on a can of tuna fish? The Mets are not as bad as this. Right?

Metstradamus said...

The Mets would have swung at his head and missed.

Anonymous said...

I had the pleasure attending Wednesday's game with Metstradamus in DC. Too bad for the "nuclear disaster" we witnessed. I guess three + years of Mets frustration came out after the game was over. Metstradamus put on an impressive display of words and gestures to say the least. At least he felt a little better afterwards.

Living in the Greater Baltimore area and experiencing the 12th losing season in a row of the Orioles - I too know about poor management. (Poor Management - add the Redskins to that list as well.) I have to say hats off to the loyal Mets fans who experience this heart ache every day. For one night it was tough to bare but a whole season Oye.

Metstradamus - you are always welcome here in DC/Baltimore area.

Anonymous said...

Trivial as it may be, the pitching rubber/Mariano thing just sent me straight over the edge. Enduring season after season of disappointing, depressing and just plain awful baseball is bad enough without having team management spitting in our collective faces by honoring a m****r-f*****g YANKEE! Let THEM worry about Mariano F*****g Riveria.

Re: giveaway days-very true, the Mets NEVER hand out ANYTHING that isn't festooned with some stupid, ugly corporate logo that renders the item completely useless. But that's to be expected from Mets management, why would an organization that ignores its own history be expected to give half a crap about its fan base? They spared no expense when it came to finding ways to empty the fan's wallets, but they couldn't be bothered to do anything to make the place feel like "home" to the fans they were so concerned about soaking for every cent.

These pieces of s**t had no problem with selling plastic seats from Shea at $869 for two and on that final day they loaded the place with cops to ensure no fans had the gall to attempt to take a piece of that decrepit, barely maintained stadium home. Then they turn around and hand a Yankee player a slab of memorabilia, gratis. FU, Wilpons, I'll be visiting Citi Field as soon as you pieces of garbage are gone. Until then, no thanks.

Anonymous said...

The Mets can't forfeit the rest of the season, because they are destined to win on Sunday, as the ultimate eff-off to thei fans. All they needed to do to make the playoffs in '07 and '08 was win on the final Sunday, and they couldn't. This year, when it means less then dog poo, they will win. And probably have the nads to celebrate.

And Schneck, I had the same thoughts at that Mets email...

Hazeleyes said...

Really? There are teams who give good stuff away just because? Who knew?

As to the rest.. my head is ready to explode. I am not even looking forward to next year because I don't see anything getting better.

Cutting prices? Hell they should have been cutting prices the last 3 years. Where the 3million plus count came from I do not know because vurtually everygame from July on that I watched on TV featured huge swaths of empty seats. Were they counting the ghosts of dead Brooklyn Dodger fans who came to admire the shrine to their legacy?