Saturday, October 03, 2009

The Stench Of Inactivity

When Nick Evans strode to the plate for the first time in 11 days after being kept in some sort of storage, the scent of mothballs and Sucrets was palpable. It was too much for Tim Byrdak to take, as it reminded him of his grandmother's room. He threw a meatball down the middle and Evans launched it for a triple.

But what people don't know is that the only reason Evans even reached the plate to pinch hit is that Snoop Manuel was distracted by the most recent webisode of The Office. That Snoop, always looking for new material. But despite Evans' appearance the Mets still won Friday's game, allaying Manuel's irrational fears that letting Evans on the field will lead to not only certain loss, certain death, and the firing of the manager, but cause the whole Citi Field foundation to crumble.

Oh wait, that was Ryan Church that caused that.

In other news, Yankee fans are apparently grumbling to their cult leader that Ron Darling is announcing their first round playoff games. Oh, wait a minute ...

Okay, I'll hear your complaints now.

1 comment:

Unser said...

I just read your post from Friday. You should bottle that cornstarch line and put it in a time capsule.

I'll say it again - if Jerry is back next year, the owners are basically telling us they could give a hoot about winning.