Thursday, October 22, 2009

Misplaced Funny Funds

Wait, let me get this straight ... the Mets made money off the Madoff scandal?

And still never signed an extra bat???

I mean, there was extra money? I don't buy it. If there was extra money, then why did I get an e-mail from the Mets offering a chance to win Dunkin' Donuts coffee for a year ... an e-mail which had absolutely no connection to the Mets whatsoever. Nice. If I wanted offers from Dunkin' Donuts, don't you think I would have subscribed to the Dunkin Donuts' e-mail list???

You can tell me that it wasn't just the Mets that did this. I got the same e-mail from the Cubs ... yeah, the team that filed for bankruptcy!

So all that money sat there doing nothing but collecting interest? F***ing Wilpons. Give it to someone who can actually use $47.8 million.

Like Steve Phillips! Hey, that should cover alimony for a couple of months.

I think I've blown a funny fuse on this. I feel like I'm Cartman in the episode of South Park where he had Kenny take the school picture upside down where you could see his buttocks instead of his face ... and then he took the picture and put it on a milk carton only to have two people come looking for him because they too have "buttocks where their heads should be".

Maybe I feel remorse ... although certainly not for Phillips, who put himself in this mess. More so for the family, in this mess through no fault of their own, who now have to deal with the details of all this get into the papers and thrust into the spotlight where they don't deserve to be. Maybe I indeed just blew a funny fuse. In either event, I hesitate to make light of this. It's too easy to cross the line from justifiable ripping to unnecessary piling on. Besides ... all the really funny stuff seems to have been already written, which would make me a plagiarist.

But in reality, he deserves to be ripped. It shouldn't surprise you that Phillips exhibits horrible judgement ... between trading for Mo Vaughn, discussing a David Wright trade, and unnecessarily ripping Carlos Beltran when standard op procedure on Sunday Night Baseball is to kiss everybody's butt, not to mention his first "fling" with infidelity. But this ... THIS!


Nah, that David Wright idea was still the worst.

Okay, now that the obligatory tongue-in-cheek portion of this monstrosity is over, check out Howard Megdal's take at NY Baseball Digest for a great take on the Phillips thing. I couldn't have put it any better.


Schneck said...

And now we get the rumors that Madoff's office was often full of cocaine and topless Wilpons in G(iambi)-strings.

Ari Berkowitz said...

That's the exact reason why they didn't get a bat! Since the Wilpons gained money they had to show losses. Therefore they didn't buy any good players this year and were also careless with injuries, see Reyes, Jose. Jeffy cares about one thing and one thing alone, his bottom line. As long as he doesn't look bad in the media he doesn't care what the Mets do in the standing. As you saw even though the Mets kept on losing the fans kept on coming. So essentially he was right! Therefore by showing the losses on Perez, the injured players, their awful record and even K-Rod, he could try to swindle them out of the $50MM he isn't entitled to.

Unser said...

If Phillips gets another job in this business, I'll send all of MY money to Madoff.

So are you enjoying this ninth circle of baseball hell we're in? Phils - Yankees? Ugh.

I must say, as hard as it is to say it, the Phillies are a damn good team. I'd trade half of our team for just an ounce of the Phils' grit.

Hazeleyes said...

Steve Phillips was a pretty lousy GM and is no genius on TV either. He shoulda been grateful his wife did not kick him to the curb the first time he cheated and learned his lesson. Hope she gets him good.

The Madoff thing just keeps making my head hurt.

The Metmaster said...

The most amazing display of the Wilpons' gall is that they went to bankruptcy court to make a claim on the 300-million that was all a Madoff fantasy. They knew they got out all the cash they invested, made 50-million profit, but still had the stones to ask the court for the phony profit their last statement showed the portfolio to be worth, all after hearing the terrible stories of small mom-and-pop investors who lost everything. The Wilpons are classless and greedy. Wait till the chickens come home to roost next year. You think they'll hit 3-million attendance again? The novelty of Citi Field will be long gone. You think the advertising rates will tank on SNY? Ratings were down almost 20% this season. The Wilpons have the Mets on the road to becoming the Orioles of the NL. Nice park, their own regional sports network, great fan base, and a team that does not attract flies at the park or viewers in front of the tube. While they change the 2010 uniforms to the rumored cream color, perhaps they could go ahead and change the team name to "The Irrelevants"

Anonymous said...

That Espn girl is...well definitely not worth it.