"I really liked when he left. He came into camp in good shape. I thought he was throwing the ball very well when he left camp. I was a little reticent when he left, and my worries have come to fruition.This is the guy the Mets spent $36 million on? A guy who can't be away from Warthen for a minute without falling apart and forgetting everything he was ever taught? Obviously, Warthen is going to have to fix his motion, get his command back, chop up happy pills and sneak them in his food, and re-teach him basic math. And no more slumber parties or sleepovers for Oliver where he can pick up bad habits, snack before dinnertime, and learn curse words in Czech.
"I think he’s not in shape. The arm is out of shape. Certainly the better body shape you are it’s easier to get your arm in shape. Even though the weight is about the same as the end of last year, he is still not the same guy we saw, the energetic guy. Even the life around the clubhouse is not the same." -Dan Warthen, on Oliver Perez
Heck, Warthen should just become Ollie's roommate. After all, Perez obviously needs round-the-clock supervision. Warthen is going to have to remind him how to get out of bed in the morning, tell him that walking involves left ... then right, go through the steps of chewing breakfast (up, down, up, down), and how to drive stick. How else will Perez make his way to the park on game day? Not to mention the fact that the Mets play in a new park now. Without Dan Warthen, Oliver will wander the new parking lot looking for the bullpen mound. Oh, and you have Vinny Castilla, Ted Higuera, and the WBC to thank for this.
Damn you Higuera, what the hell did you do to him? Was he put on a training program that involved every Denny's franchise in San Diego? Was every movie you rented from Netflix the one where they all die at the end? How did this happen in two weeks?