Friday, December 15, 2006

The "u" Is Silent...The Agent Will Not Be

So now that the Dicey-K deal is finally finished, can the world resume spinning already?

That's gotta be what Barry Zito was asking this morning. Personally, if I'm a lefty pitcher who is a Cy Young award winner, I'd personally be offended that my agent would make a pitcher who has never thrown a pitch in major league baseball his first priority while shoving me aside and treating me like a second banana. And if I were Barry Zito, I'd fire my agent immediately.

But that's me speaking as a Met fan pretending he's Barry Zito...and not really as Barry Zito.

Far be it from me to suggest that Daisuke (the "u" is silent) Matsuzaka (the "u" is not silent) is a tad bit overvalued while the major-league experienced yet still just entering his prime lefthander has to wait in line for his agent, who supposedly works for him, to get done with Dice's deal. But such is life when your agent is the prince of darkness.

And while some may say that the two contracts are mutually exclusive of one another considering the unique circumstances surrounding the Japanese posting system, I fear otherwise. Scott Boras, you see, was arrogant enough to think that he could get close to $20 million a year for his Japanese league client, in addition to the $51 million the Red Sox posted for him. He soon realized , however, that he had no leverage, and only wrangled about $9 million a season for his client.

How do you think the prince of darkness feels this morning?

He's furious.

And if you were Boras, and you had to make a statement not only to major league baseball and it's member clubs, but to every young baseball player ready to enter the majors and wrestling with a decision as to which agent to hire, wouldn't you be even more determined to use Barry Zito's free agency to get every...last...dime that you could get from an owner regardless of whether that owner's team played in New York, Arlington, Anchorage, or Amsterdam?

Try not to answer that as a Met fan pretending to be Scott Boras. Really put yourself in the mind of the prince of darkness and think about how people might be thinking that the failure to get Dice a ridiculous contract is a chink in your armor.

Scott Boras is furious, and you would be too.

If Zito truly wants to play in New York, then now would be the perfect time to remind Boras that the agent works for the player and not the other way around, by instructing his agent to do everything he can to make sure Zito ends up as in Queens. But a more likely scenario is that Barry Zito hasn't made up his mind that strongly. More likely, Boras takes advantage of Zito's fragile mind and uses him to prove to the world that the prince of darkness is still the dominant baseball agent on the landscape.

The words "unleash" and "fury" come to mind.

The Mets will have to pay through the nose to get Zito, in direct contrast to recent propaganda (and until Barry Zito is holding up a Rangers jersey with Tom Hicks at his side, yes I believe that any words out of the Mets camp on Zito is propaganda). Because unlike with Dice, Scott Boras holds leverage. The best the Mets can hope for is to include a clause in the deal that stipulates that Barry Zito will not be allowed to hang glide, ride motorcycles with Jeff Kent, play pick-up basketball with Aaron Boone, or play Guitar Hero with Joel Zumaya.

15 comments:

jabair said...

dime that you could get from an owner "IRREGARDLESS" of whether that owner's team played in New York, Arlington, Anchorage, or Amsterdam?

hate to get all gramatically correct on you but i think the appropriate word would be "REGARDLESS"

patona314 said...

he looks like the pizza boy (aka mr piazza)

kyle in newport news said...

Irregardless and regardless mean the same thing. While Metstradamus' wisdom often transcends the bounds of mortal grammar, this time he gave us both wisdom and proper word usage. Praise be to Metstradamus!

Metstradamus said...

Thanks teach. Gold star for me.

Coop said...

OK- I don't like to play grammar police either...but irregardless is NOT a word.

It's either regardless...or it's not.

This is coming from an English major.

Kind of like alot instead of "a lot." There's no such thing as alot.

Carry on.

Metstradamus said...

No gold star for me.

Metstradamus said...

From The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language: Fourth Edition...

"Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir– prefix and –less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so."

Metstradamus said...

Much like the Nolan Ryan trade was considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.

jabair said...

gold star for me...

kyle in newport news said...

It all depends, Metstra, on whether you consider what you do on your blog as being of a "formal style" or "casual writing." My guess is that you were just trying to speak in the language of the people and, like many a prophet, you were misunderstood.

Metstradamus said...

If I decide between formal and casual, would I then be typecast?

He he.

Judith Regan said...

Don't worry. I have a feeling that Zito is on his way to New York!

Then again, I say we sweeten the pot with an autographed copy of OJ's banned book! You know how OJ is a hero to all Californial libeerals like Zito!

Anonymous said...

I once photoshopped those same horns on the pasty skull of Rupert Murdoch.

Gold star?

Metstradamus said...

Two gold stars.

Anonymous said...

Huzzah!