Thursday, December 21, 2006

Good Byes And Contingencies

Inactivity is the Devil's handiwork.

At least, I think that's how the saying goes.

No really, it is. And I can prove it. I you really think it's coincidence that I take about a week off from blogging here, and Chris Woodward goes and signs with the Braves?

Satan caught me napping, and now the player that I took great pains in providing some good luck for at times in 2005, goes and joins Satan's minions.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking and you're probably right. I shouldn't sweat the small stuff, and in the grand scheme of things, Chris Woodward is small potatoes. But while we're all sitting here worrying about Barry Zito (speaking of inactivity being Scott Boras' handiwork), Chris Woodward, a bench player I've grown fond of, sneaks off to Atlanta to be a non-descript bench player who will most assuredly use his healed labrum to beat the Mets with a walk-off hit in 2007...for the Braves, I remind you...and drive me nuts in the process.

But that's a future heartache for a future time. The clear and present danger is what happens to the Mets if they don't sign Zito. And, in a scenario I was afraid of, the Mets have talked to the man who is setting himself up to be America's Consolation Prize, Jeff Suppan.

Oh, great. A potential soothing analgesic to ease the pain of losing Barry Zito, and at the same time a reminder to the Mets and their fans of the way they had it shoved down their throats in October by the very same Suppan. Yes, let's push Barry Zito away from Shea with our fiscal responsibility, then show up at the door of Scott Leventhal...reeking of desperation...while opening our wallets and shouting "pleeeeease, won't somebody take our moneeeeeeey" and proceeding to bid against ourselves to fill a gaping hole to a man who will most likely use the extra cash to hire a therapist to remind him that he's a .500 pitcher with an ERA of over four and a half just in time to make his Mets debut.

A lifetime supply of Turtle Wax in the role of: Ace.

Sounds like a plan to me. I'll ponder that possibility on Christmas Eve while watching a marathon of "The Game 365" featuring Fran Healy on MSG network, and preparing sharpened candy canes to stick in my eyes soon afterwards.


seanholihan said...

If we can't get Zito, I'd just prefer locking up Mulder for two years on the cheap.

I can't say enough how much I don't want Suppan to join the Mets. Not only did he, an average pitcher at best, mangage to choke the offense right out of our beloved team, he did so while appearing in commercials in Missouri to counter Michael J. Fox's commercials for stem cell research.

Not only will he come to New York as the new Steve Trachsel, he'll fill the void that Al Leiter left, only much more stupid.

Please, please don't sign Suppan.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Please don't sign Suppan, with or without Zito. Suppan's a 32 year old average pitcher, not worth 10 or 11 million a year for 3 years. Hopefully this is just a negotiating ploy for the Zito talks.

Anonymous said...

I agree, also. I don't want Suppan as a Met. We don't need a #4 starter, which he is at best.
He can take his devout, pious, holier than thou, phony act elsewhere. Don't want him near my team.

It's still causing me great pain that the Mets could barely squeeze a run out of that wingnut.

I hope he signs with an AL team and his ERA balloons to over 8.25
I hate the dumb jock stereotype, but he sure fits it.
I would never embrace him as a Met.
Furthermore, I'd put him right back at #1 on the Hate List. That's where he belongs.

fred said...

Suppan ... signing him would be the biggest news since the Reds signing Jeff Conine!

Good god, don't do it! The Zito "sweepstakes" is getting too out of hand ... we need a plan B before we end up with another Mike Hampton or something!

k. said...

Good point, seanholihan--Suppan is a religious totalitarian. How dare he try to prevent 200 sane Americans the right to a decent life (rthe other 100 million?--dog help them, they know not what they do...)
Who wants him on the Mets? No me. Plus like any good Dominionist--where evil is a virtue against Satanic Forces--he no doubt doctored the ball vs. the Mets.
And that's why I despise Mota too, and wish Omar had given him his walking papers with Steve "My Pet Goat" Trachsel...