Target Practice?

When next we find Pedro Martinez on an off day, he will most likely have that red wiffle bat in his hands. Will he be using that bat to beat over the heads of his bullpen? And will Aaron Heilman be deserving of that beating?

Petey hasn't been treated very well by his bullpen in the past, especially in '05 when the likes of Braden Looper and Dae Sung Koo having roles that were too important for them. This season, now that Heilman has a role that might be way too important for him, it might be starting all over again for Martinez. It's a shame, because in his second start back from injury (the second start is the one that worries trainers after coming back from a prolonged injury) he looked outstanding while soft tossing the Marlins to death.

Not only was Pedro's start wasted, but the flu ridden Julio Franco had to run all the way to third base after Jeremy Hermida let Egg Whites' single go all the way to the wall for a two base error. Now Julio Franco is of average to slow speed to begin with...but Julio Franco with a flu runs like Pitfall Harry in quicksand. And watching Franco stand on third with that pained "get me outta here" look on his face reminded me of Joe Montana sitting on the bench after Leonard Marshall blindsided him in the playoffs looking like he was going to hurl. And that three base debacle was important as Jose Reyes drove him home with a groundout to tie the game at one.

But on comes Aaron Heilman to walk the park and Miguel Cabrera to crush the Mets spirit again like he did in the All-Star game by not diving (notice Cabrera dove today for a grounder? Thanks a lot). This brings up a question with Aaron Heilman: Most of Heilman's good outings last season came when there was nothing on the line. When given big spots, he declined. This season, he was good in bigger spots until after the first Yankees series. But now, forced into the role of eighth inning guy, Heilman has had two good outings and one awful one. So here's the question: Will Aaron Heilman eventually become the new Doug Sisk? Heilman has gone from trade bait to having a more important role than he had. And it's really a shock that he's still here but certain circumstances dictated that. But will the Shea faithful take it out on Heilman if he doesn't come through as we took it out on Sisk from 1985-1987? While I can't imagine a player being treated as horribly as Sisk was treated back in the mid-80's, Mets fans who attend games this season may see Heilman as the player who will turn out to jeopardize the Mets chances in the postseason. I for one, fairly or not, don't like his chances.

***

Jose Reyes was locked up today for four years.

***

So Darryl Strawberry has chosen not to be at the 1986 championship reunion...after decking himself out in full Yankee regalia for old timers day to play the part of Joe Pepitone's clubhouse kid.

While there is a growing part of me that thinks I should probably wait until Strawberry divulges his reasons I have to ask a question to Mets fans: how many times is Darryl Strawberry going to betray our fan base?

First it was 1988-1990, when all Strawberry talked about was how much he wanted to play in Los Angeles with the Dodgers before finally going there.

Then, he admits during a recent interview that his obsession with the Dodgers and subsequent move there was the greatest regret in his baseball career.

Now, he shuns the organization where he spent his greatest years...and the team which won the only World Series of its era by not showing up to the only 20th anniversary the 1986 Mets will ever have...in favor of honoring a franchise for which he was the 10,483rd greatest player in their history, by showing up to a yearly event where all of the really good players are too old to pick up a glove much less play.

All right. New Metstradamus rule: If you're going to tell me that the Mets don't honor their history by retiring enough numbers, you are no longer allowed to use Strawberry as an example. It's bad enough that Strawberry played with the Yankees. It's bad enough he acquired three rings with them as a bench scrub. But now we can only assume that he valued his time with them more than he valued his time in Queens...even after years away from the game and so called reflection.

And if that's the case, 18 should never go up on the wall...ever.

I don't get it. Is Straw still afraid that Wally Backman is going to kick his ass?

Does this make Darryl a "true Yankee"?

Is he still afraid that Keith Hernandez is going to kick his ass?

Does Darryl get a Yankeeography now?

Is Straw concerned that Kevin Mitchell is going to lure him back into a world of drugs and animal abuse?

Does he owe some outstanding vigs to members of the groundscrew?

Will Strawberry now get a job on YES as Nancy Newman's make up guru?

What's next, Bobby Ojeda isn't going to show up because George Steinbrenner has promised him a plaque in monument park for his three innings of work in a Yankee uniform in that special season of 1994?

***

I don't care what the entire world may say. But I love these uniforms.

***

So two friends are riding down a city block when the driver blows a red light and the passenger is horrified. "What the hell are you doing?" said the passenger. The driver, calm, replies "Don't worry, my brother does this all the time".

About five minutes later, at a busier intersection, the driver blows another red light. This time, three or four cars swerve to avoid an accident. Once again, the passenger is horrified. "Would you stop that!!!" he yells. The driver, unflappable, says "Oh quit your worrying. My brother does this all the time.

Ten minutes after that, the car gets to a green light. And the driver stops at the intersection.

"Why are you stopping at the green light?"

"My brother might be driving today."

That, my friends, is an old joke. But it's the logic used by Tien Mao, calling Filthy Sanchez his idiot of the month on the Gothamist website.

Now I'm the same guy that joked that the Mets have millionaires that insist on riding taxis even after Tom Glavine's accident. But according to Tien, drunk driving is acceptable yet being hungry is not...especially when you make millions of dollars since you could be ordering room service instead.

I see.

Well, now that I've learned that, I would like to call Eli Marrero my "idiot of the day" for waking up this morning with a stiff neck thus getting himself removed from the lineup tonight. Hey Eli! You're a major league ballplayer! How dare you risk getting a stiff neck by sleeping with air conditioning the night before facing Dontrelle Willis!!! YOU'RE A FREAKING MILLIONAIRE! HIRE FIVE OR SIX WOMEN TO WAVE TOWELS, FAN YOU AND BLOW COOL YET COMFORTABLE AIR ON YOUR NECK WHILE YOU SLEEP!

Thanks, Tien, for enlightening me. I'm now going to drink a fifth a vodka and take a drive in Soho looking for some irresponsible rich folk on a late night Samosa run...or maybe I'll just get the eighteen wheeler out of the garage and plow into a late night taco stand or an after hours cigar bar. That'll teach those rich guys not to leave their houses. Idiots!