McNugget Of Poison

Doesn't Pedro Martinez's contract have one of those standard clauses that prohibits dangerous activities like hangliding, motocross racing, and in Pedro's case, eating chicken in the Dominican Republic?

Silly us...afraid that Petey's shoulder wouldn't hold up for the duration of his four year contract. No...what we should have been afraid of was too much Mop & Glo on the clubhouse floor, and the cooks in the Dominican restaurants not washing their hands before handling the chicken.

Speaking as somebody who has had a recent battle with suspected food poisoning, I can tell you while you don't exactly think you're going to die, you find yourself waiting for death to knock on your door, but death isn't coming. That's what Pedro is feeling right about now.

And that's what Met fans must be feeling after sitting through a Cubs sixth inning rally on Saturday that was like Chinese water torture: drip, drip, drip. Sun-aided triple to right field. Baltimore chop up the middle. Baltimore chop over David Wright's head. Small portion single to left field. More of the same in the seventh inning against the soon to be minor-league bound Henry Owens (finally, I figure out who that chap wearing number 36 was, and they send him down. Wonderful.) And you're sitting back in your recliner, much like somebody experiencing food poisoning just hoping for that extended appointment with the porcelain god to make it stop, much like you're hoping for the long ball from Derrek Lee to convince you once and for all that it's over and you can go about your normal lives again. Wrong. You're bedridden with the IV attached to your vein going drip...drip...drip. And death won't come.

Speaking of death not coming, I actually got asked last night what happened to old friend Edgardo Alfonzo and his now fledgling career. And whaddaya know, he's back...signing a minor league deal with Norfolk today.

It would have to be so, of course, that on the week that a group of Mets took a playful pose on the cover of Sports Illustrated, that the team would bring back a player from the last time a group of playful Mets were the lead story of the grand old lady known as Sports Illustrated. And although I don't see it happening, I hope that Alfonzo finds his way into that Met uniform one more time, although it will have to be another model, due to 13 being off the rack.

Edgardo loves New York, and didn't hesitate to let the city know that after leaving for San Francisco...he put advertisements on top of yellow cabs thanking the city for eight great seasons. That to me is someone who deserves one last crack at glory here...even if it has to be as a September call-up. Even if it has to be reminiscent of John Stearns, who came up in 1984 on his last legs and hit a pinch hit double to a wild Shea Stadium ovation. It was an ovation brought about because deep down we all knew that John Stearns had nothing left in his aching body, but it was nice to see him contribute somewhat to a winning Met team with the blue and orange piping down the sides of the uniform that looked strange on "Dude"...rather than those putrid 70's teams that wasted the talents that John Stearns could have brought to a pennant contender.

Unlike Stearns, Alfonzo played on some winners and had considerably more talent than Stearns had...and it's such a shame that a 32 year old ball player has been reduced to grasping at one last ovation from the team that gave him so many a short time ago. Unfortunately, back issues has forced him to this point where he very well may have nothing left. But it was worth seeing John Stearns in that Met uniform that wasn't synonymous with losing. And it would be worth seeing Alfonzo perform one more time with the back drop of winner like himself.