Sunday, July 30, 2006

Moving Heaven And Earth

When last there was a sweep of the Atlanta Braves in the deep south, Keith Hernandez was hitting for the cycle, and a pitcher who's not supposed to be hitting home runs, hit a home run.

Twenty one years later, Keith Hernandez is present once again...this time dancing in the broadcast booth (on the Braves grave?), and a center fielder who never drops fly balls, dropped a fly ball in the first inning.

That's the game.

That's the series.

That's the season.

Drive home safely.

Andruw Jones drops a fly ball, and I'm not supposed to believe that this is a special season?

Not that I endorse laughing at other people's foibles...wait a second, I do endorse laughing at other people's foibles when they where a tomahawk on their jerseys, whether they be white, gray, or blood red. But somewhere on this planet, someone looked up during a private conversation with his higher power and asked "please, give me a sign".

And moments after, Andruw Jones dropped a fly ball.

Someone in Wichita is going to propose to his longtime girlfriend because Andruw Jones dropped a fly ball.

Someone on the upper east side is going to buy that duplex in the village because Andruw Jones dropped a fly ball.

Someone in San Francisco is going to give up his job at the winery, move to Zaire and join the Peace Corps because Andruw Jones dropped a freakin' fly ball.

And this is how one simple, formerly unspeakable act can move mountains.

***

Here's a philosophical question for you, and it involves Carlos Beltran. He has 32 home runs and 94 runs batted in after his latest assault on the Mets record book. If you were one of the people that booed him on opening day...and you could go back and relive the moment(s) in question knowing what kind of numbers Beltran would put up, would you still boo Beltran?

Your knee-jerk response would probably be "no".

But is there a small chance that Carlos Beltran is putting up these kind of numbers due in part to the motivation (anger) created to those boos?

I bet you have probably have changed your mind and said "yes", correct?

Well on the flip side of that, taking into account the fact that most of his numbers have been accumulated on the road, might Beltran's numbers have been better without the boos?

Have I confused you yet?

Good, because I've confused myself.

Here's what I do know: Carlos Beltran is a guy who I thought played scared when he returned to Houston to play a four game series. Yet Beltran's numbers have been accumulated in front of mostly hostile crowds on the road...not that Atlanta's crowd counts as particularly hostile, but hey, they're still road games, and it's still Turner Field where the Mets would have slain baby seals in the past to have a guy do the kind of damage in Atlanta as Beltran has done this season.(Disclaimer: neither Metstradamus or anyone affiliated with Metstradamus endorses the slaying of all seals, whether they be babies or full grown adults).

Not bad, not bad at all.

***

It wouldn't be a true Metstradamus column unless I had one true rant.

I received a "hate list" related request in regards to today's Bobby Abreu/Corey Lidle trade. The request was to put the Yankees and Abreu on the list, pronto.

Not to worry, there will be plenty of time for that.

Tonight, my repugnancy is headed straight for the office of Pat Gillick...supposed super genius.

Now keep in mind that while I had no interest in Abreu on the Mets, any trade that would have brought Abreu to Queens apparently had to include Lastings Milledge.

So obviously Mr. Gillick, who was looking to get some legitimate talent, was going to get Yankee prospect Phil Hughes, right?

No?

All right, he at least got the suddenly wildly overrated Scott Proctor for Abreu, right?

No?

What exactly did you get for Bobby Abreu, Mr. Gillick?

What's that you say...Brian Cashman promised to buy you a grand slam meal at Denny's? And you gave him Cory Lidle too?

Man, no wonder the American League is the better league...because numbnuts like Pat Gillick are too busy bailing out the Yankees and solving Brian Cashman's problems for him, so they can get out of the weight of their own stupid contracts. What's next, Pat Gillick sells his house and property to Mr. Potter for 25 cents on the dollar?

It's a wonderful life...but not for a Yankee-hater.

Thanks genius...thanks for basically ensuring that we'll have to deal with Yankee fans for another October. One title in 122 years, and they rode the back of a Met legend to do it. Now I see why. Have fun waiting until 2080 for your next title.

Burn in hell, Pat Gillick.

9 comments:

them mets said...

On the plus side, while the trade doesn't gouge the Yankees, it doesn't exactly do much to strengthen our division rivals, does it?

Metstradamus said...

Yes. But Gillick can still burn in hell.

them mets said...

I wouldn't try to deny you that pleasure!

Metstradamus said...

LOL! Sweeping the Braves is pleasure enough.

Darth Marc said...

Reading the Phillies blogs, they're sort of leaning toward your line of thinking. I thought they would have been good riddance the way they dogged him. But they're pissed. In part because they didn't get more and because Abreu is helluva player.

I love the deal. You strengthen your lineup without giving up our top prospects and we get to piss you off as well!! Fun times.

benny said...

The Phillies deal was about dumping salary.
The Phillies have enough offense.
The $15 million+ they are saving from this deal would do wonders for them regarding the pitching staff.
Although they COULD have done a LITTLE better in terms of talent.
But still, the deal was about the money. It is a benefit with all the money they saved.

Anonymous said...

In your eighth paragraph - Did you mean to use "foibles"? I don't know if there is such a word as "foilables".

Metstradamus said...

anonymous,

I knew I got that wrong.

Thanks!

Unser said...

MD has a point on this one. If the Phillies offered Abreu and Lidle to the Mets for Heilman and Humber, or Heilman and Nady, don't you think Omar would have jumped at it? Isn't the Heilman-Humber (Nady) package better than that minor league quartet of utter Yankee crap?