We Interrupt The Mets Cold Stove Season To Bring You ...

I am contractually obligated to tell you that the Mets have signed Ryota Igarashi. I don't know who he is. But from all I've read about him I can tell you who he's not: The Greg Maddux of Japan like Satoru Komiyama was. Or the Tom Glavine of Japan, the Steve Carlton of Japan or even the Danny Graves of Japan. He hasn't been compared to anybody to get our hopes up so they can mercilessly be torn down at the first home run he gives up to Chase Utley.



For those who can't convert kilometers to miles in their head, he throws about 93 in the above clip. And as you can see he wears number 53, just like our manager Chuckles. I hope Snoop gives up 53 because he really doesn't need to wear a number.

Comedy for his jokes, tragedy for when he gets fired after bringing Igarashi in at the wrong time, or for bringing him in 16 straight days until his arm falls off, then leaving him in the back of the bullpen to play Clue with Sean Green for a month. Yeah, this oughta work out well.

***

Oh by the way, when the Mets put in the new plasma replacement booth next to the Shake Shack, I hope they paint it blue and orange. There's nothing worse than not recognizing your history when you're hawking platelets that are sponsored by Verizon.