Thursday, March 18, 2010

As Opposed To, A Belly Itcher?

"I think one day I'd like to become an actual pitcher." -Mike Pelfrey, a pitcher
Aah, to be young and have dreams. I myself would like to be an actual blogger. You know, the kind that actually blogs and not just spews a lot of crap like I do now. Or maybe the kind who goes viral and turns his random spews into a television show. One day ... one day.

Though I'm not sure what to think about Pelfrey dreaming about the betterment of his world while watching a movie about the world's end, the process must work on some level since he took his new continental landscape to the Red Sox on Wednesday. Pelfrey bounced back from his last battle with Boston to throw four innings of one run ball, which is a perfectly acceptable step forward.

I'd like to say something on the record ...

(Hey, stupid! Everything you say is on the record ... it's called THE INTERNET!!!)

I guess that's why I'll never be a real blogger. But I want to say something that's more on the record than most things I say because I'm going to give you a high hope: Ready? Here goes:

I'm betting on Mike Pelfrey to bounce back this season.

I figure the odds are with us on that one. We've got three pitchers in the middle of the rotation who are on a downswing. Odds are one of them has to surprise the hell out of us in a good way just by the law of averages. I mean, look at Generation K. One of them turned out to have a decent major league career (unless you count Paul Wilson's 40-58 record as decent). It's the law of averages ... one out of three, slightly better than Anderson Hernandez's slugging percentage (good luck there, Cleveland ... I'm sure we'll get him back by August anyway).

Pelfrey, Oliver Perez, and John Maine aren't Generation K. More like Generation A.D.D. I've gotta pick one of them to bounce back and be useful (and frankly, if that happens I'd be ecstatic, considering how John Lackey's performing this spring ... Omar!) John Maine? Not after his string of injuries, and certainly not after his "I wasn't into it" quote. That sounds like something I said after getting a 54 on a Physics quiz in high school.

Oliver Perez? Don't get me started. "But Metstradamus, he had four hitless innings against the Tigers! Where's the love?" I want to see Oliver Perez toss that kind of ball all spring before I even think about falling under his hypnosis, only to be jarred out of it by 8 runs in 1 and 2/3's by "Bad Ollie". Then, I want to see him carry it over into the regular season and go at least six innings every start before I rush out to get my cream colored Perez jersey. And let's just say I'm not setting my money aside.

Pelfrey? He's the one ... the one who had the great half-season without being in the middle of a contract year. Of course he's also the one who easily gets distracted with pick-off moves, balks, and shiny objects like jingling keys. But that's why he's the leader of Generation A.D.D. And as the leader he's the one that needs to set an example. Besides, worrying about secondary pitches means less time worrying about how many runs he's going to balk home in a single game. So he's the one. 17-10. Law of averages.


Schneck said...

There's something a bit sad about the fact that I strive to be a real commenter.

I sure hope you're right about Pelfrey. Maybe if he does have some success, that helps to lift his A.D.D.-mates? Ok, one step at a time.

Uncle Mike said...

I think by "a real pitcher," he just wants to be a pitcher who does well in real games, as opposed to video game simulations.

Unknown said...

Let's make a real deal, because the idea of you buying and wearing a cream-colored Perez jersey is just too enticing.

How about 25 games of at least six innings, and an era under 4. It's not Koufax, but then neither is Ollie.