Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Jackass Three: The Pitcher

Someone once said about me that "yeah you're a good writer, but you're much better when confronted with an enemy." After the better part of two seasons doing this blogging thing, having the same enemies all the time can get stale sometimes. I mean, Roger Clemens worships Satan. We know this. It's old news at this point. Bobby Bonilla? We've been through that hundreds of times. Rey Ordonez? Hating Rey Ordonez is so bourjois sometimes (I'm gonna have to call you back).

Sometimes a new enemy is needed to get the juices flowing and breathe new life into a blog...kind of like people got sick of seeing Batman fight the same three villains over and over again.

Well folks, we have our new villain.

John Thomson signed a half million dollar deal with the Toronto Blue Jays today. Apparently, Thomson's choice came down to the Jays and a return to the New York Mets. But the reason Thomson turned down the Mets major league contract offer was...Paul Lo Duca?

"As far as just looking at Paul Lo Duca across the field, I'm not really into how he acts behind the plate...I know a bit about Gregg Zaun and I know he wants to win and he's not going to let anything get in his way to do that, and I like that."
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Now I have nothing against Gregg Zaun. I know a guy who once played golf with Gregg Zaun, so I'm not going to go and rip Gregg Zaun. But may I remind you, John Thomson, that Gregg Zaun was nowhere near the playoffs last year while, alas, Paul Lo Duca was not only one game from the World Series, but drew a walk in Game 7 with the game on the line to set up Carlos Beltran's ill fated at bat? (Not to mention that Lo Duca was pinch run for so he was in no way shape or form responsible for Beltran striking out?)

And John, if you don't mind me asking, how the hell does Paul Lo Duca act behind the plate??!?

Does he sing showtunes?

Does he use the word "guestimate" when the word "estimate" would suffice?

Does his breath smell like week old yogurt that's been in the sun?


Because wanting to win is so important to you John. And I'm trying to understand why a human being who went 2-6 with a 4.31 ERA when he had his chance to win in New York to bring the Mets back into the pennant race insinuate that another human being doesn't want to win. Did you want to win? Did you want to win when you gave up 39 runs in 54 innings? How exactly did you act while on the mound?

You acted like a country bumpkin afraid to pitch in the big city. That's how you acted. It's certainly how you pitched. It's how you pitched on August 3rd, 2002 in your Mets debut when your error allowed four runs to score before giving up a home run to Jay Bell...Jay Bell!

I'm beginning to think that the only time you're not scared is when it comes to ripping guys that you've never played with from miles away when you know they're not coming up on the interleague schedule in 2007. Now you're brave, eh? Maybe if you would have translated some of your bravery to the pitching mound when you were a Met...where your two victories came in games where you got 21 runs of support combined. Maybe you could have used some of that bravery when you were deciding where to pitch in 2003 when you couldn't wait to bolt New York to go pitch in mega-metropoli such as Arlington and Atlanta, where catchers didn't act like Paul Lo Duca and your left fielder was Shane Spencer.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that the calibre of left fielder played a part in Thomson's decision? Check out this nugget of brilliance from Thomson today:

"And then with Vernon Wells in center field, I'm not really concerned about the outfield with him out there. ... Just watching the Mets' outfield, if Cliff Floyd is still there it's not a real good fit for him out there. He can hit the ball, but as far as defense, he's a little shaky."
All right John, maybe you weren't good at geography as a kid, but let me make you a few points:
  1. Vernon Wells is in center field. So if you were going to compare him to someone, how about Mets center fielder and gold glove candidate Carlos Beltran? Moron.
  2. Cliff Floyd isn't even going to be back with the Mets in 2007, and anyone with half a brain would know that. Moron.
  3. You wish you had a left fielder that hauled his injured ass around the outfield at his top speed and dove and crashed around like Cliff Floyd. You wish that because, here's a newsflash: Cliff Floyd wants to WIN!!! And after today, Cliff Floyd also wants to shove a bat clear up your ass!
  4. Have you met Endy Chavez?
Oh, and one more thing...Cliff Floyd is still a free agent, and it's a distinct possibility that he could have signed with the Blue Jays. But maybe now he isn't going to because he sees your lame ass on the mound and doesn't feel like playing behind a pitcher who demands that his outfielders are superb defensively to cover up all the mistakes you're going to make because, well, you're not that moron!

And speaking of being not that good, I have one more question: Why on God's green earth did the Mets even think of signing John Thomson? To teach Mike Pelfrey how to pitch scared? To instruct Phil Humber on the finer points of ripping guys who you don't know? Because it certainly wasn't because Thomson's an ace.

Nice to know that we hear why everybody doesn't want to come to the Mets, and why everybody wants to go somewhere else. Why should John Thomson be any different?

Well he is different. Because on top of wanting to be somewhere other than here, he's a moron! And he's our new villain.



DFrank11 said...

Maybe Thompson and Trachsel and team up as part of an all-gutless rotation.

Anonymous said...

Oh my good God, I have tears running down my face I'm laughing so hard!

Probably because I could hear this rant as I read it!

Anonymous said...

post of the year.

well, so far, anyway. nicely done.

Anonymous said...

You got the juices flowing again! Way to go Metsra.

Minglet said...

two posts in one day..
you are going to need to be doing a lot of that to make up for the heartache of these long stretches without posting..

Minglet said...

oh yea..
cant imagine whose gonna grace the hate list tomorrow..

erik love said...

Classic Met$tra. It's been a while since i've been in the building

Yes, im sorry. MySpace has taken ova my live(Would Metstra consider getting one)

I haven't even posted at my blog. Im so ashamed of myself.

Anywayz, John Thompson is a idiot.

I dont mind him ripping into Lo Duca. MAYBE he has some kind of point.

But, why rip into Floyd? As you said, he wont be bacc. But for the most part, Cliff has played an above average left field. Outfield assists out the ass my dude.

Thats just a gutless cheapshot at somebody who's not even a Met.

Nice to seee you haven't changed much though Met$tra....

Metstradamus said...

Erik lives!!!

Welcome back dude! I thought you went on a road trip to Jim Mora's house to tie him to put him in some sort of stockade or something.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he's afraid Paulie might decide to have a little tryst with a young lady . . . behind the plate while Thompson's pitching.

Don Kachuba said...

Thompson obviously has a grudge against the franchise from the past and was probably insulted the Mets only offered him a minor league contract; his comment about Vernon Wells showed he is ignorant since he obviously is unaware that Beltran is a gold glove centerfielder. And this Lo Duca thing obviously is about something else. He'll enjoy a 5.5 ERA in teh AL East.

Anyway, Thompson isn't even worthy of drawing our hate, at least guys like Clemens were good.
-DonKachuba from

Don Kachuba said...

oh and he mentioned cliff floyd was a reason he didn't want to come to the Mets. That certainly makes sense considering.....

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the Bonilla post being in the Daily News editorial page today!
Don't forget your loyal readers on the way up.

Anonymous said...

Who is John Thomason?

'nuff said.

Anonymous said...

What a dummy. Why the heck would he choose this time, after signing a new contract with a new club, to rip a couple of Mets?!? There's gotta be more to this.

And we traded Jay Payton for this fool. I remember wondering what Steve Phillips was thinking at the time.

And try adding "p" to your name - its "Thompson". What the hell is a "Thomson" anyway?

Hey, Scott Schowenweiss . . . whoo - hoo! Actually he's a decent pick up.

Anonymous said...

"DFrank11 said...
Maybe Thompson and Trachsel and team up as part of an all-gutless rotation."

Let's not get stupid here and compare Thompson to Trachsel. Just because Trax didn't pitch the way you wanted him to pitch (in one game) there's no reason to shit on him. Did you even know his wife left him the day before his scratched start vs. L.A.? And that he flew out to his home to try and save his marriage? There are somethings more important than baseball. So before you try and knock people, know the facts. I'd take Trax over ANY pitcher left on the market right now.

The Metmaster said...

"Hell hath no fury like Metstradamus scorned."

Anonymous said...

So before you try and knock people, know the facts. I'd take Trax over ANY pitcher left on the market right now.

Steve? Is that you?

LoDuca's stat line against Thomson may be of interest, last season his was 1-3 with a HR.

Anonymous said...

anon - regarding Trachsel.
It's not just the yellowness he showed in the NLCS. It is his whole body of work. Yes, having your wife leave you is tough, I understand it may have impacted him. But the fact is, Steve was not a very good pitcher.
There is more to judging a pitcher than Wins and Losses. There is how he performs in his starts. Trax had Mets fans reaching for the Tums from pitch 1 most starts. He had a high ERA, and benefitted immensely from run support.
He was able to go 6 innings at most, and too often went shorter. Too often he would be given a nice sized lead and would give it right back, or make the game tighter than it had to be.
Is he the best left on the market? Maybe, but then again, the market consists of similarly sucky pitchers in Jeff Weaver, Tomo Okha and Tony Armas Jr. So yes, he gets a slight nod on them. Tell me, if he is so good, why are teams not rushing to sign him? John Thomson, who won 2 games last year signed already, as did Mark Mulder, who won't pitch until May at the earliest.
I hope things turn out OK for Steve in his personal life. But I do not want him back in a Mets uni.

Anonymous said...

Andruw Jones may be a omous rick, but at least eole recognize the name "Andruw" when they see it ut in front of them. You know why eole don't know how to spell your doey last name, John...? Because you suck. You're a enis and you suck.


The Omnipotent Q said...

Congrats, Metstradamus, on being quoted in today's Daily News. What I really want to know is: who are those three imbeciles who voted for Dante Bichette? What a joke...

I'm sure there's a deeper backstory about Thomson not wanting to pitch to LoDuca. And I wonder if Thomson would have shot off his mouth like this if he had signed with a Mets rival, like the Phillies, instead of the Jays? And God knows why he went after Cliff Floyd.

Anonymous said...

HAHA!~ Why do the MUTT$ always have to make the same mistake twice!

Two tour of duties for Jeromy Burnitz, Roger Cedeno, and the amazing Bobby Bo!

Most organizations don't screw up this badly one time. But the Mutt$ have to bring back their colossal mistakes and make them even worse on a second tour!


Metstradamus said...

Can the Daily News print a retraction if they ever found out that I wrote that while under the influence of the amphetamines in Mark Sweeney's locker?

The Omnipotent Q said...

Just do what Bonds does: deny, deny, deny...and blame someone else!

Thank you so much for putting up a link to my site today, Metstradamus. I really appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Nice one

One other Thomson thing: I recall reports -- soon after his arrival at Shea -- that he had a tattoo of a Confederate flag on his back.

This is not a player who ever should have been in New York. I though Phillips was a dope at the time, for bringing in someone with that kind of mentality to New York -- and if Minaya considered having him back, he was having a rare idiot moment.

Anonymous said...

My high school has a poster of Ryan Zimmerman in the hallway, with one of those messages like READ or DON'T DO DRUGS or STAY IN SCHOOL. I would be fine with just about any of these messages, so long as it's not KEEP ON HITTING METS PITCHING IN CLUTCH SITUATIONS!

But I wonder if David Wright made one of these posters...

Anonymous said...

TYpical Mutt$ fans. Arrogant liberals who trash any other point of view as being wrong and unworthy of their presence. Hahaa. Liberals are so arrogant and convinced that they are doing 'justice' they are blind to the harms they cause themselves.


Anonymous said...

You've got one thing backwards:

Satan worships Roger Clemens.

Metstradamus said...

You're right. It's a mutual admiration society, those two.

Anonymous said...

Holly Cow brother, I am on board for this rip session. Lemme' tell ya', when I read about Thompson's comments I was furious. As a die-hard Mets fan who lives near Toronto, I couldn't believe this garbage. JT should go and play in taffic, and it's pretty much as simple as that. The guy has nothing, he's a loser. Well said, all of it.

By the way dfrank11, like the Trachsel comment. I hated him in T Bay, I hated him in Toronto, and I never much cared for him as a Met.

Let's Go Mets of 2007!

Anonymous said...

In the words of Borat, N-eye-ice!