Junior's Cheesecake And Bobby's Cheese

Now I know what you must be thinking: "Well if Metstradamus could come up with an entire rant about Fernando Nieve, I can only imagine how he's going to complain about signing Junior Spivey."

Believe me, I tried. I tried to come up with a soliloquy so negative yet so grand that it would make the hairs on the backs of all your necks stand up. But I just can't. I'm too tired. And there's only so many times I can come up with a 500 word masterpiece piece of crap on a guy signed to a minor league deal or picked up on waivers. Besides, every time I bemoan the signing of a guy who hasn't been on a major league roster since 1974, he winds up making the major league club and hitting .450 over the course of two months and makes me look like an idiot (that's before he rips his hamstring like pulled pork while applying Mighty Putty to a leaky pipe on an off day.) So I'm done playing that game.

Instead, I point you to the fact that Bobby Parnell is steaming towards a job in the Mets' pen as a set up guy. If there's one thing the Mets lacked in their bullpen last season, it was a swing and miss guy who throws hard. Yeah, I know ... the Mets, in actuality, lacked about 49 things in that bullpen last season. But Parnell is just the kind of guy the Mets have been missing, and could use if he can put it together. And if Parnell can do for the sixth/seventh what Frankie Rodriguez, J.J. Putz, and Sean Green are supposed to do for the eighth and ninth, then maybe Met fans aren't going to have to go through a season's worth of Rolaids by May 6th.