How Much Are YOU Worth?

There's a goofy website out there called "Human For Sale" which tells you how much you're worth if you ever want to sell yourself. And before you ask, I never finished the survey because I don't have to ... I already know you can't put a dollar figure on my worthlessness.

And lucky for Luis Ayala, he doesn't have to finish this survey either (and risk having his e-mail flooded with spam for weeks afterwards.) Because we know what Ayala is worth: $1.88.

That's what the Mets gave up for Ayala ... as in the buck eighty-eight average that Anderson Hernandez was putting up in New Orleans, cementing his place as nothing more than a defensive replacement on a good team (equivalent to a regular role on the Washington Nationals), so off he goes to get the former Montrealer Ayala in return and continue Minaya's march to create the "Metspos".

Of course, in this Mets bullpen, you can't place a value on another veteran arm with a 1-8 record and a 5.77 ERA, which makes him fit right in with this outfit which suffered through another outing where Filthy Sanchez did nothing but throw batting practice to the Pirates in a tie game. That created a small stain on a stellar road trip which finishes up at 6-1 after the 5-2 loss to Jack Wilson, Steve Pearce, Steve Pearce's Ultimate Warrior facepaint, and the Pittsburgh Pirates. (Sanchez blames a monkey on his back. It certainly couldn't have been the super-cool shades he was wearing, right? Perhaps the good ol' goggles should make a return.)

And it's crystal clear that John Maine needs to learn what Johan Santana has learned ... that is how to go nine innings. Johan learned to make sure the pen doesn't see the light of day, and now Maine needs to learn the art of distrust. But seriously, Maine seems to be back where he was before the injury, five innings, few runs, and 2,000 pitches (okay, 96). I'm sure that regardless of the bullpen problems, the Mets would love find a way to have John use his pitches a little more economically. Because when it comes to today's economics, $1.88 doesn't buy much these days.

High Anxiety

So when did you get nervous?

Was it when Filthy Sanchez walked in from the bullpen?

Was it when Jack Wilson hit his first home run of the season off Filthy, and first off of a Met since he hit a grand slam off of Danny Graves?

Was it when Aaron Heilman showed his face on the PNC mound?

Or perhaps ... was it when Carlos Delgado got himself "set" to field that Andy LaRoche grounder and instead did his best impression of a bullfighter?

Or did you get nervous the moment I did, when the team plane hit the tarmac in Pittsburgh?

Luckily, Argenis Reyes knows that when it's Delgado backing up on a grounder, he should take nothing for granted. And luckily, all of Aaron Heilman's pitching problems didn't cause him to forget how to cover first on that play ... which helped to save the Mets in their 2-1 win (yes, I believe Heilman should split that third save with Argenis. You can have 2.5 sacks, why not 2.5 saves?)

But Heilman still had to get Jack "Slugger" Wilson to end the game as the winning run. Were you nervous then? C'mon, it was Jack Wilson! He had only hit two dingers in a game once before. And once again ... this was Jack Wilson we were talking about.

Oh just admit it ... you were nervous. Admission is the first step.

Called Shot

Jose Reyes leads off the game with a single off of Matt Morris. This was overheard soon after:

"I want blood. Five runs in the first inning. Let's go."

Author of said quote? Yours truly. Yes, Metstradamus calls his shot and delivers with a virtual 500 foot bomb to center field (Not to be confused with Moises Alou's actual bomb to left field to make the prophecy come true.)

How does your soothsayer mark the occasion of telling the future? By trying to tell the future again.

"I don't think this one's in doubt anymore."

Metstradamus once again calls his shot and hits a virtual 320 foot shot to the warning track at PNC Park, proving once again that you quit when you're ahead.

Because from beginning to end, it was in doubt. Before you knew it, that 5-0 lead became 5-3 as John Maine struggled yet again. Then Guillermo Mota hit Jack Wilson with two outs to set up the fourth run, and every Mets fan that was in the building wanted to pull a Mike Piazza and chase him around the PNC parking lot.

Shawn Chacon and his throwing error opened the door for a five run Mets ninth inning to put the game out of reach at 10-4. But then Aaron Sele hit the mound instead of Billy Wagner to end the game...and predictably, all hell broke loose. So Country Time had to come into the game anyway and close things out. Thankfully, ten runs turned out to be enough.

Ten runs should be enough. Consider this: the Mets are 8-6 since Luis Castillo came on board (outside of an 0 for 6 against the Brewers in a 12-4 win, and an 0 for 3 against Florida last Saturday, Castillo has had a hit in every game that he's batted in a Mets uniform), and since Moises Alou started a run of 12 games out of 14 with a hit. His average has gone up in that span from .298 to .310, and he has had many big hits in the process. In those 14 games, the Mets have averaged 6 runs a game, and the only reason that the Mets only went 8-6 is because of Willie Harris, Guillermo Mota, and Aaron Heilman.

And yet, Steve Phillips comes on ESPN Wednesday night and says that he doesn't think that the Mets aren't going to make the playoffs because they're not hitting enough!!! For crying out loud, say that our bullpen stinks. Say our starters are struggling. Tell me that Moises Alou can't be depended upon 100% to stay healthy. Tell me that the Brewers, Marlins, Cubs, and Pirates aren't the best of competition. Any of that...I'll buy. Really, I'm not that difficult to satiate.

But all I had to do was go on the internet to find out that the Mets are hitting a ton. I mean, is it really that hard?

Yet these are the people dispensing information to the masses...and paid good money to do so. I give up.

Science Lab Blows Up

Saturday night's 11-4 loss to Pittsburgh may have signaled the end of a couple of experiments for the Mets.

First to explode: the Kaz Ishii experiment. In a season of good start, bad start, good start for Ishii, tonight was due to be bad start, and it was. But unfortunately, the Mets absolutely needed Ishii to pick to club up after their worst loss of the season on Friday. Instead, he was the ultimate downer. Not only did he put the Mets in a 3-0 hole, including giving up a HR to the immortal Humberto Cota (fast becoming the Pirates version of Pat Burrell) on an 0-2 count, but he committed the cardinal sin of giving up a run immediately after the Mets tied the game in the 6th on Cliff Floyd's solo HR (an inning after Mike Cameron pounded a two run dinger to put the Mets on the board). And it was a run created solely after two men were out. So on a night where the Mets needed Kaz Ishii to step up and help his club, he showed the intestinal fortitude of soggy mashed potatoes.

Next to explode: the Danny Graves experiment. With the game still in reach at 6-3, Danny Graves came in for a struggling Heath Bell. Graves gave up an RBI double to Cota, and a grannie to Jack "95 lbs soaking wet" Wilson to basically end all hopes.

Graves and his tattoos were a cheap option, and it's not like he replaced someone useful. But the Mets had to find out about him, and unfortunately, they'll probably go to him again. Sometimes when you don't particularly care for someone working under you in a real job, you need an excuse to get rid of that person. Sometimes that excuse comes when you stop coddling that person and you let them run with a normal workload...and when said person fails, you have your excuse to get rid of them. With the Mets having a $5 million option on Graves for next season, they can't just use him exclusively in mop-up situations and expect to have a good excuse to decline the option for 2006. They needed to give him a normal workload, and that was tonight. He failed, so that's that. The Mets will probably use him a couple of more times for confirmation, just as they did with Hitaway DeJean in Seattle.

The one thing about the Mets this season is that a struggling player will get enough rope to hang himself. But Willie Randolph and Omar Minaya will have no problem playing executioner and pull the level on that's player's career, even if it is in the middle of the season. I see it happening with Graves at the end of this campaign, and I see it with Ishii much sooner than that. In any event, next time you see either of these experiments in the game, always be sure to wear your protective goggles.