Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Symmetry of Eight-Oh

Of course, it would be 8-0.

Because the first I saw of the Mets game, the score was already 8-0. This happened mere moments after I just got finished dropping some money at Harrah's in Atlantic City.

How much money, you ask? Of course ... 80 dollars.

If you close your eyes, you can distinctly make out the laughter of each individual baseball god, as they just keep throwing the fun little coincidences at me. Not enough I'm in Atlantic City ... Phillie country ... losing money and seeing more Phillies shirts and hats than I've seen in every other visit I've ever taken here combined, but this morning I wake up, flip on SportsCenter, and find myself right smack in the middle of the "Top Ten Mets F**k-Ups Of The Season" (I don't think they actually called it that.) How do you know you've had a bad season? You have enough boners for a Top Ten of the Season list all by yourself, it's only July, and Ryan Church missing third base before scoring the winning run isn't even on the list!

You know how else you know things are bad? When Manny Ramirez gets ejected from the game in the fifth inning for treating his elbow pad like a hand grenade ... and he still goes 2-for-4 with three RBI!!!

And the news doesn't get any better, as Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are nowhere near returning, while Oliver Perez returns Wednesday to either set fire to what's remaining of his career, or pitch the best game in his life in a 1-0 Mets loss.

But just when you think your life stinks, think of the 12-year-old youth travel team in Brooklyn who showed up to the field for their scheduled game to find out all the bases were stolen and the pitching rubber was ripped out of the ground, forcing the game to be cancelled.

Perhaps similar acts of thievery are the Mets' last hope.


G-Fafif said...

Harrah's Atlantic City? Did somebody leave a toothbrush on your chair last Friday?

James Allen said...

All that ESPN Not Top 10 Thing was missing was "Yakety Sax" playing in the background. If America's Funniest Home Videos was still on, the Mets would be a strong contender, hell, they'd probably get to the finals. Sure, they'd lose to the video of a little kid hitting his dad in the groin with a wiffle bat, but that always wins.

On a more philosophical note, last night I pondered something: if the Mets played a baseball game in the woods and no one was there to hear it, would they make a sound? Last night's game was strong evidence that no, they wouldn't.

Unser said...

We've hit unwatchable territory.

In addition to the lack of fundamentals, the total power outage from this team is a mystery to me. Not just HRs - no doubles either. Wright, Church, Murphy, Evans, Tatis . . . can only hit singles? Really weird.

kjs said...

Great to see Fred Wilpon's favorite team win in the Wilpon's insipid cemetary. Can't wait til the Tigers come in next year to make Little Jeff happy.

gary said...

here's the over/under tonite for ollie.. innings (3) runs (5) hits (7), walks (5) number of fans yelling "ollie, u suck" (2372).i'll take the over on walks and fans yelling ollie u suck.enjoy the game friends..