Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Will There Be Donuts At This Meeting?

So Alex Rodriguez is going to Meet the Mets.

Perhaps he'll even Greet the Mets.

Will he bring his kiddies? Will he bring his wife? I can't guarantee he'll have the time of his life.

'Cause as a Met, he'd really sock the ball...perhaps knock some home runs over the wall.

But whether you're on the east side, or the west side, you should really consider coming your senses. Because if you really think there's a chance that Alex Rodriguez is going to sign a free agent deal with the Mets, then you just don't know the Wilpons very well. C'mon...this is a team that once drew up a half-ast contract for Vladimir Guerrero when everyone else was scared off by his back issues, trying to sign him the same way John Spano tried to buy the Islanders.

This is a team that wouldn't overpay for Barry Zito, when Barry Zito was a necessity. You think this franchise is going to give a luxury like Alex Rodriguez more money than the gross national income of Equatorial Guinea to come to the Mets and move either their shortstop to second base (remember how well that worked out the last time) or their gold glove winning third baseman to parts unknown?

Look, I'm not saying that I don't want A-Rod. I'm also not saying that I do. There's a part of me that can do without that phony persona of his, and do without the circus that comes with him. But then again, there's a part of me that thinks 50 HR's and 125 RBI's in the middle of the Mets lineup is enough to make me overlook the A-Rod circus, so I frankly don't know what to think. That's what blowing a seven game September lead has done to my brain. I can't think in those kind of terms anymore. Notice I haven't put out a "how to fix the Mets" post here like I've done in the past. You know why? Because I have no flippin' idea! That's why.

For now, I'm leaving that stuff to Steve Phillips, who went on ESPN yesterday and said something like: "If the Dodgers go out and get Alex Rodriguez and Johan Santana, they'll have a good chance to win the World Series." Wow, no kidding??? What finishing school taught Steve Phillips that new theory of relativity which enabled him to go out on that far a limb to tell us that getting an MVP winner and a Cy Young winner in the prime of their careers will give you a good chance to win the World Series? Eureka!!!

(If I ever...EVER, sound that dumb, please come to my house and put polyurethane in my Dr. Pepper. You know who you are.)

But Steve Phillips is no longer employed by the Mets, so I suppose Alex Rodriguez can talk to the Mets without throwing a garbage can at the wall. Wonderful. Meet the Mets. But don't be surprised when after meeting him, they quickly say good-bye when that slip of paper Scott Boras slides to the other end of the table is about the size of the paper that held those candy buttons you ate when you were a kid, and you tried to eat them all while ingesting no more than the acceptable amount of stray paper that's allowed by the FDA.

So forgive me if I seem less than optimistic over the prospect of this meeting. Because it doesn't matter how I feel about an event that doesn't have a snowball's chance in Scott Boras', I mean, hell...of happening.


Anonymous said...

great great post...I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The Mets do not need the A-rod circus in town.

I wouldn't mind the Santana circus though. Not gonna happen, but I wouldn't mind it.

katherine said...

I am possessed with a DEEP certainty that if we were to pay a billion dollars for Arod, he would immediately go into a deep slump, while continuing with his on and off-field ugliness.
And I STILL love those candy dots - there is a store near my house that sells them.

Unser said...

Correct me if I wrong, but last time I checked the Mets had a third baseman - his name is David Wright. . . had a pretty good year last year.

Also, can A-Rod pitch? What am I missing here?

If they don't get one of the top starting pitchers on the trading block (Santana, Kasmir, Oswalt, one the Giants' pitchers), and get at least two decent relievers, we're finishing second or maybe even third again.

Have they released Mota yet? Call me when they do - at least I'll know someone's on the ball in the front office.

gbaked said...

There are a bunch of major differences between zito and arod.

The biggest being that arod is the best hitter in baseball in everyones oppionion. and zito was the best pitcher in baseball by only his agents oppinion.

I am still 100% for getting a-rod. I think his contract/pinstripes made the circus appear bigger then it really was.

This was my argument a few weeks ago... and it still is:


for the next 6 - 10 years...

The Metmaster said...

My feelings for A-Rod are the same as my feelings for Gary Carter in the mid-80's. I could not stand Gary Carter. I thought he was the biggest phony in the world. A very talented phony though. The day I heard on the radio that the Mets traded for him I nearly drove my car off the road screaming "Holy shit, we got Gary Carter!!!"
Here's what the Wilpons need to realize. Every postseason game translates to a couple of million dollars in profit. Every game. Having A-Rod on that team is almost a guarantee to the postseason. World Series? Just getting there pays almost half his salary.I'm not even considering what it does for SNY.
How about giving A-Hole, I mean A-Rod the benefit of the doubt? He was pretty damn good in Seattle in the postseason. Could it possibly be that he tried to be "Super A-Rod" rather than plain old A-Rod while a Yankee due to the fact he felt he had to be the biggest all-star on a roster of all-stars? Maybe he chills out on the Mets and just settles for being A-Rod. Scary thought. If uptight A-Rod puts up those kind of numbers imagine what comfortable A-Rod does?
I really think the Mets need to hit a home run during this offseason if only to erase the bad taste left by last season. A-Rod is a sure thing. A home run. If they play cute, and cheap, and hope to make a deal and come up dry, they will enter camp in 2008 and everyone will be talking about the "Great Collapse of '07".
The Star-Ledger had an interesting column today. Dan Graziano suggested the Mets go after A-Rod on their terms not his. Offer to pay his mega-deal, but then say "ok pal, here's the deal. You'll get your dough, but we want you to play right field." The Mets can offer him much besides a boatload of money. Contender, lineup protection, new stadium, NYC, close to Miami and his family, a bunch of games in Miami during the season, the team of his youth, Keith Hernandez (his idol). The Angels have always and will always be in the Dodgers' shadow. But A-Rod remembers when the Mets owned New York. He could envision himself the missing piece to make that a reality again. This is a Mets crossroad. It will be interesting to see which road they take this time with A-Rod. C'mon Fred. Give me the opportunity to kill myself behind the wheel again.

GaryG said...

Metmaster, I like your analogy to Gary Carter and it is right on.

However, Metstradamus is unfortunately accurate in his portrayal of the Mets chances of actually shelling the dough for A-Rod.