Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Failure And Sadness

Some guy named Patton Oswalt (no relation to Roy) did a comic bit about those KFC Famous Bowls that contain chicken, mashed potatoes, corn and gravy all in a plastic bowl. He called them piles of failure eaten from bowls of sadness.

I thought of him as reports of the Yankees entering trade talks for Johan Santana have surfaced.

Here are the Yankees, once again going after the Fillet Mignon of the trade market...and they'll probably get him too. Oh, not because the Yankees have better prospects than the Mets, but moreover because the Yankees will break out that magic spell that they use when trading for guys like David Justice and Bobby Abreu where they'll wave a piece of cheese or something in front of Bill Smith or something and say "you want to give us Johan Santana for nothing...and here's why", and they'll convince the Twins to hand over Santana for Kyle Farnsworth and an old Wall Street Journal that Mike Mussina once read.

(And speaking of Bobby Abreu, did ya happen to notice that the supposed crown jewel of that deal for the Phillies, C.J. Henry, requested his release from the Phillies so that he can re-sign with the Yankees? But no, there's no conspiracy at all, naaaah.)

Meanwhile, in the midst of our speculation regarding Santana, and Dan Haren, and even Joe Blanton, the two guys that have been most closely linked to coming to help the Mets rotation:

Freddy Garcia and David Wells.

Phenomenal. A guy who is going to miss the first three months of the season, who will probably replace the other guy after he eats and drinks himself out of the league. Talk about a failure pile in a sadness bowl.

It's a long way from Fillet Mignon, isn't it? But never fear, because you can buy 1,779 Famous Bowls with the $9,411 "prize" that each Met received for second place. You can also buy a '99 Chevy Tahoe, a John Deere X595 4wd Lawn & Garden tractor with a 62C deck, or 300 shares of WesBanco Inc, whatever that is. Don't spend it all in one place.


frederick said...

Maybe Scott Kazmir will ask to be released so that he can sign with the Mets.

Demitri said...

Maybe the Mets can lure Roger Clemens out of retirement?

Failing that, maybe Randy Johnson will become available.

"Bowls of sadness" indeed.

katherine said...

I agree - it's awful, and I am too depressed about it all to try very hard to defend Omar - maybe, though, he is waiting for George Mitchell's "list" to come out before trading for someone, or signing a free agent, who might then get a suspension?

And Clemens or Johnson might actually be an improvement over the person I bet you 4,911$ they WILL sign - Livan Hernandez

To relieve my misery, I am trying so hard to get in to football, but yesterday embarrassed myself greatly by asking a football fan who I was trying to impress, at what point in the fourth quarter did the Patriots "score the go-ahead runs". Busted......

Anonymous said...

I dont see anything with the mets rumored to be interested at david wells

katherine said...

Anonymous, haven't you heard the saying, "Never ruin a good story with the facts." ?

Charity said...

Spencer from King of Queen (aka Patton Oswolt) is GOD.

I love him.


Metstradamus said...


Click the link.

Don't be afraid.