The Great Escape

I hate being right.

Remember these? I've already gotten a handful of them wrong. But tonight? One came true...the wrong one.

The Mets' bullpen still has one major collapse left this season...they'll blow a lead of at least six. -Metstradamus 7/14/2005

You think I bring this up to brag about being a soothsayer? NO! It's a damn curse! Sometimes I wake up screaming at the nightmares I have: Wil Cordero knocking the Mets out of the playoffs...David Wright tearing an ACL, or a PCL, or an MCL, or all three at once...Pedro Martinez gets robbed at gunpoint and gets his fingers chopped off for his World Series ring.

But sometimes, reality is worse than the nightmares: The Mets sign Wil Cordero...two thirds of the Mets outfield re-enact the Malachi crunch from Happy Days...Pedro Martinez gets robbed by his bullpen and has a deep desire to cut off his own fingers.

Let me get this out of the way: Willie Randolph is not at fault here. The Mets are up 8-0, thanks to dingers by Ramon Castro, Jose Reyes, and David Wright, and Pedro has gone six scoreless. There is no reason to extend your ace any further than you have to...there is the rest of the season to think about. And after Frank Robinson yanked Vinny Castilla and Jose Guillen, in effect raising his white flag, there's no reason to believe that an 8 run lead is anything but safe in the top of the seventh.

But alas, there's Danny "Tattoo You" Graves.

I wonder if he even has to go to the parlor to get tattooed...seems to me he doesn't have to leave the mound for that.

Then there's Dae Sung Sisk.

What in the world has Royce Ring done wrong that the lefthanded Sisk is still employed?

Then there's Arm Angle Heilman.

I like Heilman, and he's pitched well lately. But didn't they to make Greg Brady the next Don Drysdale too?

And then, in the ninth, Braden Looper.

I'm starting to get the feeling that he's one ball through the legs away from being Calvin Schiraldi.

Luckily, for all of you, there's Chris Woodward to come in with a paper clip, a rubber band, and a stick of gum...and rescue all of you like MacGyver with his winning base hit in the 10th to help you escape.

Let me just underline a point for you: the Mets 'pen blew an 8-0 lead to the Nationals...

The same Nationals who couldn't hit their way out of a greenhouse made of tin foil if they had double flails instead of bats!

How are you going to beat the Braves again?