Did I Miss Anything?

Boy did I pick a doosy of a time to leave.

The one week that I'm not constantly in front of a computer...what happens? A worm shuts down computers all over the country.

But what more do you expect from a soothsayer?

Let's run down what I've missed:

Sunday: Pedro Martinez pitches a no hitter for 7 and 1/3 innings.

Let this be a lesson to all you travelers out there...Jet Blue is the only way to fly. No, I wasn't watching the game on the plane, but I was tuned to ESPNEWS thanks to Jet Blue's Direct TV service, where by the fourth inning, the best stats scrolled for the Dodgers were: "Saenz: 0-1, Bradley 0-2" I kid you not, I started thinking no-hitter that early. It would figure that the first no hitter in Mets history would be chucked with me at 35,000 feet over the United States.

As the update box showed Martinez with a no-no through six, and the Mets only up 1-0, I thought that either Martinez would get it, or the Mets would lose the game. Once Pedro gave up the hit, I swear to you I turned and said to my wife "the Mets aren't even going to win the game" (you'll just have to take my word for it). Sure enough...

You have to surmise that Carlos Beltran gets to that ball...if for no other reason than that he plays the deepest center field in baseball. Williams jumped too soon, and it was the second day in a row he did that (the first to Jae Seo to stop his scoreless streak on Saturday). Meanwhile, the no-hitter streak lives on.

And speaking of which, a tremendous read put together by the boys at Faith And Fear In Flushing about the exclusive club of no-no breakers, and the man who started it all (you might be surprised). If you haven't read it yet, by all means take a look. And speaking of those guys, they have voted for the hall of hate. Have you? Remember, you still have until 3PM on Saturday, August 20th, to cast your vote. The top 5 get in, and there is still an extremely close race for the 5th spot. Let's just say that there is one runaway winner, which doesn't surprise me.

Monday: Former Met Todd Hundley charged with DUI.

It actually happened the previous Friday, but Monday is when I noticed it. Hundley blames Vicodin, Brett Favre's candy of choice in previous years. For someone who has been labeled as a drinker during his time in New York, the circumstancial evidence doesn't bode well for him. I hope that there isn't more to this.

Tuesday: Kris Benson pitches, hits his was to a victory over his former employers.

Benson has a little chip on his shoulder when he hits, doesn't he? He's got this little Bret Boone bat toss that he breaks out after a solid knock...I've seen this before.

Meanwhile, Benson's bodacious wife Anna appeared on CNBC's "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch" for a panel discussion to discuss a woman's role in a male lockerroom after the Derek Lowe/Carolyn Hughes fiasco. Best moment of the show: The blonde sports columnist from Maxim Magazine claimed that she gets hit on at least twice a day in a Major League Baseball clubhouse, and Donny Deutsch asks Anna if her husband is uncomfortable with women in the lockerroom. Anna says that Kris says he is, to which the blonde Maxim correspondent interrupts "He only tells you that because you're his wife!"

Ba-zing!

Wednesday: Mets defeat Bucs again, Carlos Beltran returns, but Mike Piazza breaks a bone in his hand.

Leave it to Mike Piazza to educate the world on what a pisiform bone is. Did you know what a pisiform bone was?

The pisiform bone is in the most lateral position in the proximal row of wrist bones. It forms in a tendon as a sesamoid bone.

This WebMD update was made possible by frustrated bloggers like you.

Thursday: Mets miss chance to sweep Bucs.

Pop quiz: Who is Zach Duke?

1. A yachting enthusiast from Marin County, CA
2. Don Ameche's character in "Trading Places"
3. The alias of an actor who frequently appears on those movies you see on Cinemax at 3AM
4. None of the above

Of course, the answer is "None of the above". You know that Zach Duke is the Pirate phenom who is obliterating everyone in his wake, including the Mets, during his 6-0 start.

Sobering when you consider that in about a month and change, Duke already has as many victories as Victory Zambrano.

Friday: Mets win 1-0, Jae Seo pitches another gem.

And he has his own cheering section too.

I love how Willie Randolph is managing on feel, rather than by the book, by leaving Seo in to get himself out of trouble in the eighth inning.

Or has Willie just lost his last remaining shred of faith in his middle relief corps?

And now you and I are caught up upon my return to civilization as a more relaxed and refreshed Metstradamus. How long will that last? Hopefully until at least the next time the Royals win a game.

And speaking of which, doesn't Joe McEwing deserve better?