Friday, August 26, 2005

The Fran Healy Drinking Game

I was inspired by Matt Cerrone of Metsblog finally raising the white flag and turning on his iPod during Mets telecasts featuring Fran Healy...

When he comes back on the air next week, why not try "The Fran Healy Drinking Game". It can go a little something like this:

When Fran Healy...
  • mentions how exciting a player Jose Reyes is: one shot
  • mentions how exciting a player David Wright is: one shot
  • begs you to "come on out to Shea": one shot
  • says the phrase "high drive": one shot
  • talks about a player being "locked in": one shot
  • says the phrase "can of corn": one shot
  • says the phrase "whale of a ballgame": one shot
  • talks about a player having "relaxed hands": two shots
  • talks about playing with Thurman Munson: two shots
  • makes an excuse on behalf of a Mike Piazza bonehead play: two shots
  • plugs a product when their advertising is hit on the fly by a home run: three shots
  • steps on Ted Robinson and completely ruins a good point: finish the pitcher

And give yourself a congratulatory shot if you're not dead from alcohol poisoning by the third inning.

The game you're watching might look a bit better! It certainly couldn't sound any worse.

***

Speaking of coming out to Shea, did you know that the Giants, the 55-71 San Francisco Giants, are seriously considering printing playoff tickets?

To me, the worse atrocity is what the Mets are pulling, which is basically allowing ticket scalping to Mets fans who hold club level seats...

...rich people.

The very same people that probably don't need to benefit from making a profit off of Mets tickets.

Thank you again, Wilpon family...for contributing to the eventual death of the middle class.

***

Steve Trachsel (no record) vs. Kevin Correia (2-4, 4.86 ERA)
Tom Glavine (10-10, 4.10 ERA) vs. Jason Schmidt (10-6, 4.41 ERA)
Kris Benson (9-5, 3.89 ERA) vs. Noah Lowry (10-11, 3.81 ERA)


Benson defeated Jason Schmidt in the finale of the Giants/Mets series at Shea, when Schmidt was returning from injury...it was a 12-1 Mets win, which featured two HR's by Cliff Floyd.

Glavine got the win in the other Met victory in that series, a 5-1 win.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot taking a shot whenever Fran says "day game after a night game"

Vinny said...

Just think of the body count if "preparatory hitch" were included the list of Healy-isms for the drinking game. I'm amazed that my TV made it through that phase of his intact.

Simply Amazins said...

What about "frozen rope?" I think that merits at least two shots.

Metstradamus said...

Now I kind of want to hear Healy, so I can get all of the drinking lines down.

Ian said...

"Let 'im swing the bat."

Anonymous said...

A cheasy transition from whatever the topic conversation was to the play on the field : 2 shots

Anonymous said...

"Come out to Shea & watch Jose Reyes run"

seriously, what is he, a horse?

G-Fafif said...

Just the word "those" ("the Mets will play those Phillies") should be enough to qualify the viewer for Betty Ford.

May the Good Lord bless and keep Howie and Gary and clear AM reception and my TV remote's MUTE button.

[Personal to M. Stradamus from one of your blolleagues: You rock. I can offer no higher praise at such a late hour.]

Anonymous said...

i would love to play this game at work. maybe find a way to use it for other announcers. it would definately make 10:40 firday night dodger games more bearable!!!

Metstradamus said...

Keep those ideas coming...there's a market for this somewhere.

And g-fafif, I am bowing my arms in the "I'm not worthy" motion at you. Thanks!

Rex Publius said...

How bout a shot when a rival makes a good play and the oft-said "Tip your cap!" line comes out?

Deutsch Maschine said...

One shot for the phrase "...the ball just explodes off his bat..."

One shot when ever someone hits a "bullet" into the outfield

Take a shot whenever the ball "jumps" of someones bat.

And the topper. If Barry Bonds should play another season. Beware the most evil phrase of all; "..and it's a BULLET off the BAT of BARRY BONDS!!!" You hear this...drink the rest of the bottle and dial 911.