Baseball's Antarctica

Kristina Horner is one of a handful of bloggers who have entered a contest to be able to blog from Antarctica. Certainly, it's a unique and interesting experience, as although people are stationed there at various times, only "cold-adapted plants and animals survive there."

I don't need to enter a contest to enter a desolate region. Definitely not tonight, for at this very moment, I'm in Washington, DC. Where the locals distract themselves from the latest foible from their beloved Redskins in many ways ... beer, politics, talking politics over a beer, stalking Alex Ovechkin, and the like. For a few, brave souls, they forget about a loss to the Lions by turning to baseball in the beltway ... the Washington Nationals ... as they combine with the New York Mets to form a rivalry with a long history, fierce competition, and 193 losses combined. There may or may not be more losses in the building then there are actual fans. But for the Nationals' faithful who've arrived, they do so because they love their baseball, and they know that a bright future is just around the corner.

For the Mets' faithful who've come all the way from New York City, they do so because they need acute mental observation. Nevertheless, I'm here ... nine innings, 193 losses, one deranged blogger.

This ...

is Baseball's Antarctica. Only broken hearts and long festering angst can survive there.

Tuesday's game featured all of the broken hearts and long festering angst you're used to seeing live, except with gray uniforms. It really was a microcosm of the season: Mets have a chance to break the game open in the first inning with bases loaded and one out but only score one run instead of the three or four they should have scored. Mike Pelfrey has his bad inning. Mets have a chance to take the lead back with, again, bases loaded and nobody out in the seventh, but score nothing. ("Ooh, we have the bases loaded, who's up? Brian Schneider! Oh, let's get on that Five Guys line.") Stellar defense featuring Anderson Hernandez and Luis Castillo (and by "stellar", I mean "stellar is to abominable as Gold Glove is to Anderson Hernandez and Luis Castillo". And these are the defensive specialists, no?

Then top it off with a heartbreaking ending in which Elijah Dukes (who's defense is also "stellar" at times), makes a spectacular wall crashing catch on a ball which, if it had ten, maybe fifteen more feet on it, would have been in my lap. Seriously ... I'm the guy in the Mets jersey in the front row standing up and stopping my camera because I think this projectile his headed right for me. Seeing that a Metropolitan hit it, I should know better ... I probably would have had the youtube video of the year. Instead, I have a drunk guy in a suit putting his arm around me screaming "Meeeeeeeeets Loooooooose!!!" after saying nothing for nine innings. Awesome.

Oh, and the pointless "Let's put Frankie in down by one" move by our fearless leader which only served to keep the game close so that Dukes can win the game right in front of my nose. Rub it in, why don't ya.

The expedition continues on Wednesday.

***

Some other oddities:

A Topps lineup? Where have we seen that before?

A helmet garbage can, where have we seen that before? (I'm guessing we ripped them off on that one.)

Hey, Ray Knight! Where have we seen him before? (I'm guessing they ripped us off on that one.)

The Mets aren't the only team to honor other franchises. Never you mind that the Nationals have only been around five years.

Hey, he hasn't even played for the Nationals! Then again, Tommy Lasorda never played for the Mets yet they honored him with his own day, so what do I know?

It Can Get Worse: Let Us Count The Ways

You're probably thinking that it couldn't get any worse after losing 15-0 to the New York Yankees.

Just like you thought that there was no way it could get worse after Luis Castillo's dropped pop-up.

And I'm sure you thought that the Mets couldn't possibly top Ryan Church missing third base and all the errors in the bottom of that inning for sheer comedy.

Well, as I'm sure you've learned, it can always get worse. And for the New York Mets, it most assuredly will get worse. Join me in staring down the crystal ball to find out just how it will get worse, as we look ahead to ten losses that will shape the Mets season:

Sunday, June 28: The Mets enter the ninth inning with a 13-0 lead against the Yankees, yet Snoop Manuel brings in Frankie Rodriguez to get some work in. Against a Yankees lineup which rested their stars for the latter half of the game, he gives up 14 runs including a two run HR by Brian Bruney, who came in the game for Nick Swisher who blew out his arm while pitching. The Mets lose 14-13.

Sunday, July 12: Frankie gets Jay Bruce to pop up with the bases loaded and the Mets up by two. But as Luis Castillo settles under it and puts two hands up, Jose Reyes is so happy for him that he tackles Castillo in celebration. One problem: Reyes mobbed him before the ball came down. Three runs scored after the ball drops as the Mets lose 6-5. The play is ruled a grand slam single.

Sunday, July 26: With every member of the Mets pitching staff having incarcerated by the Houston P.D. the night before, the Mets force Brian Stokes into action to pitch a complete game. After throwing 147 pitches, 127 of which for strikes, the Mets lose 2-1 to the Astros when Stokes throws a double play ball over the screen behind home plate with the bases loaded. Manuel vows to put Stokes in non-pressure situations going forward.

Monday, July 27: Todd Helton hits a screaming line drive to Gary Sheffield for the final out of the game ... and he catches it with two hands. But the umpires go to instant replay to find that the ball was hit so hard that a stitch from the baseball flew off the ball and flew towards the stands, barely grazing the Subway sign forcing the umpires to rule the play a two run homer, giving the Rockies their 42nd straight win.

Thursday, August 6: Ryan Church blasts a grand slam with two outs in the ninth against closer Heath Bell to give the Mets a 6-3 lead. However, Church is called out as he missed second base. Not only did the four runs come off the board, the official scorer takes away the remaining two runs because upon video review, Church actually had the audacity to miss every single base, and the Mets lose 3-0.

Monday, August 24: After not pitching for the previous 27 games, Brian Stokes comes in a tight situation: down by a run in the ninth, bases loaded, and Chase Utley at the plate with one out. Stokes goes 3-0 on Utley, after which Manuel visits the mound to have a heated discussion with Stokes. The next pitch is grounded back to Stokes, who holds on to the ball and doesn't throw it anywhere ... all the while staring back at Manuel in the dugout. As teammates try to pry the ball loose from Stokes, all four runs score as the Mets go on to lose 15-4. Stokes is released soon after the game and the Mets pick up Aaron Heilman off waivers.

Friday, August 28: Johan Santana is one out away from pitching the first no-hitter in Mets history at Wrigley Field when the first pitch he throws to the final batter dips under 90 mph. An ambulance immediately comes on the field to take Santana away for an MRI. "Now?" Santana asks ... "Yes, now" say the doctors. The ambulance, packed with every other Mets pitcher but one, drives Santana away. The one healthy pitcher left, Heilman, gives up back to back homers to Tuffy Rhodes and Pumpsie Green as the Mets lose 2-1.

Friday, September 4th: With the Mets down 4-3 and a runner on third base in the bottom of the 12th, Carlos Beltran drives a long one out home run headed towards the Pepsi Porch. But at that moment a fan, dissatisfied with his fish sandwich from the "Catch of the Day" stand for some reason, throws the remaining portion of the sandwich towards the field. The sandwich hits the ball, which changes direction and falls into the glove of Milton Bradley for the second out. Bradley then fires a strike to third base to double off Jose Reyes, who scored without tagging up and was already in the shower. Mets lose 4-3.

Friday, September 18th: The Mets lose 2-1 to the Washington Nationals, after they've traded Adam Dunn, Joe Beimel, Ryan Zimmerman, Julian Tavarez, John Lannan, Cristian Guzman, Nick Johnson, Anderson Hernandez, Elijah Dukes, Austin Kearns, and Joel Hanrahan for middling prospects. All of Steven Strasburg's 27 outs came via the strikeout in his major league debut as the Nationals lineup consists of Jesus Flores, Willie Harris, the four guys who dress in the President suits, and Screech the Mascot. The guy in the Teddy Roosevelt suit hits two home runs off of Oliver Perez and also wins his first mascot race between innings.

Sunday, October 4th: The Mets, incredibly, are tied for the wild card lead with the San Francisco Giants with one game left to go. Oliver Perez starts for the Mets, and he squares off with Mike Hampton. Perez actually pitches a good game, going six innings and giving up three runs before giving way to the bullpen. Hampton was better, going eight and 2/3's only giving up two runs. But he got himself into a sticky situation loading the bases with David Wright at the plate. The Astros brought in Hampton's 14-year-old son Gage to face Wright, and Gage strikes him out to end the game, and eventually end the Mets' season as the Giants defeated the Padres later that day.

When asked how he picked up on the subtleties of pitching to major league hitters so quickly by the New York media, Gage credited a solid Colorado education.

Nice Park

So wait, you mean Larry Jones isn't going to name his next child Blue Smoke Jones?

"It is the biggest park that I have ever played in in my life. It is a huge ballpark to center and right center and right field. You know, I actually feel sort of sorry for some of the guys out there because their power numbers are really going to take a hit; guys like David Wright , [Carlos] Beltran, [Carlos] Delgado. The days of them hitting 35, 40 homers -- they're over. I juiced the ball just right of center field as hard as the good Lord can let me hit a ball, and it hit midways up the center-field wall for a double," he said. "And every time there was a long fly out or a double that hit off the wall or something, David Wright would run by me and go, 'Nice park.'" -L. Jones

So this was the reason for the 800 foot valley in right field ... the Wilpons wanted to be sure to build a park that Jones couldn't kill them in. Ah, I see.

***

Any chance signability issues will cause Stephen Strasburg to drop to the 72nd slot? Yeah, I picked a bad season to hold a draft party. Oh well, more submarine sandwich and potato salad for me.

***

Hey, the WNBA season starts tomorrow, so you may already know this. But in case you don't:

The Phoenix Mercury have sold the naming rights on their uniforms to identity theft services company LifeLock Inc. — cementing what is believed to be the most lucrative sponsorship deal in the WNBA and opening the door for sports franchises to tap into a traditionally taboo revenue stream.

The Mercury name, pictured front and center on the uniform, will be replaced with the LifeLock insignia. A small Mercury patch will be stitched on the upper left portion of the uniform, across from an Adidas symbol on the right.

This is it ... the beginning of the end. And after the Bernie Madoff scandal, the Mercury may have given the Wilpons an idea:

Another reason not to slide: Dirt obstructs the view of potential sales. At least the jersey's not black..