One Hit Wonder

When the highlight of a Yankees/Mets game is Keith Hernandez giving SNY viewers a riveting on-screen instructional of the intricacies of the cough button, that's when you have problems.

The Yankees defeated the Mets 5-0.

The SNY cough buttons defeated the Mets 3-0.

Where two hits at least could have been rubbed together to start a fire, the Mets couldn't even accomplish that, as they only had one all game. In fact, when Alex Cora struck out on a wicked A.J. Burnett (or has he dropped the periods and become AJ like his friend CC Sabathia) curveball in the first, the thought "well, let's get 'em tomorrow" escaped my lips. Seriously. (I'm impressed that it was Cora who got the only hit.) That's when I was told to have some optimism. You know the one thing that's worse than the Mets lineup right now? That's right, optimism.

Consider: Not only are Yankee fans able to get the best seats, but they're knocking pop-ups out of David Wright's glove in the stands. Not that it helped them (Robinson Cano struck out), but their baseball IQ rates higher than that of the Mets on the field. Now seriously, what the hell is that?

The worst part: Who can I really blame? Seriously? I'm going to pick on Jerry Manuel for batting Argenis Reyes second? Dumb? Yes. Difference making? Would putting Argenis in the eight hole or on the bench or in Buffalo have been the difference between zero runs and six ... or even one? For that matter, am I going to blame Argenis Reyes for being a .200 hitter? Man, that's like blaming a fish for being bad at breathing out of water, or Shaquille O'Neal for being tall, or Dennis Cook for having a temper. It's just who they are.

Frustratingly, blaming people would be akin to taking candy from multiple babies. It's just pointless. Burnett was on against a lineup where Brian Schneider had the best statistical chance to hit him. What exactly did we expect? At full strength, perhaps you can overcome a spotty performance by Tim Redding. When Argenis Reyes is batting second, well ...

Now if Monday's game recap contains the words "Chien-Ming Wang rediscovered his Cy Young form ..." then it's time to complain.

***

Speaking of complaining, Mark DeRosa went to the Cardinals for Chris Perez and a player to be named. Indians fans seem to be fairly confident that this player will be pretty good.

Mets fans will probably wonder if DeRosa was on Omar Minaya's radar. Considering what the Indians got, the asking price for Omar probably would have included one Mr. Robert Parnell. Is that a chance you would have taken?

I Was Afraid Of This

So the Mets basically told Derek Lowe that if he thinks he could get a better offer somewhere else he should go for it.

He went for it, and apparently he's going to get it.

So I ask you this: What's the consolation if Lowe does indeed sign with Atlanta and the Mets don't budge from their initial offer? And I'm not talking about who the Mets sign in his place. I'm talking more along the lines of whether the fact that the Mets were

• stingy,
• frugal, or ...
• responsible

whatever you want to call it with their money will help you sleep at night when Lowe is doing the tomahawk chop. Will you still think that the Mets played the market right and will you be content in the fact that the Wilpons didn't throw extra money around in this economy?

(Editor's note: I italicize "in this economy" because I'm about near the point of puking my guts up after the thousandth time hearing that phrase.)

This is why I was worried when the Braves struck out on A.J. Burnett (and Rafael Furcal). They were going to have money to spend on someone. And now their spending spree might cost the Mets Derek Lowe. So for that, I guess you can partly blame the Yankees for signing Burnett. (Now now Metstradamus, you learned about argument fallacies in college and now you're leaning on one yourself. For shame, wayward blogger.)

But this was a case where the Mets should have taken a page from the Yankees book. The Yankees blew everyone out of the water for CC Sabathia right from the beginning, and that's when everyone started grumbling about New York and how their irresponsible. And I'm not saying the Mets should have offered Lowe $60 million more than he was worth. But when Boras and Lowe said they were going to go elsewhere, an extra six or seven million over the length of the deal at that point might make a team like the Braves think twice about even making an offer, instead forcing them to grumble about the economics of baseball and about how New York is evil. But now they're firmly in the mix with the money originally earmarked for Burnett, and the Mets have to play catch up and pay more than they would have if they had just thrown in a little extra from the start.

Instead, they're sitting out in the cold in front of the building like Ralph Kramden was when he and Alice were kicked out of the apartment for not signing the rent increase, and all Ralph could say is "I've said it before ... and I'll say it again ... that man is bluffing." And maybe Boras still is bluffing. This could be the reverse New York theory. Instead of bringing in the New York team to goose up the price, he's using a New York rival to goose up the price for the New York team. Boras probably knows teams' needs as well as their insecurities as well as anyone. He's playing it like a fiddle and he knows it. I'm just saying that a little good faith ... not much ... could have avoided all this. Because you may think you're bidding against yourself, but with Scott Boras that's never really the case.

Now there are some who think that getting Oliver Perez back would be the better option anyway ... upside and age being the major factors. Besides, better the devil you know, right? More than fair. But if Perez becomes the play, I'm sure there will be fans who feel that the Mets didn't really move forward with the rotation. After all, Perez is kinda "been there, done that, bought the t-shirt". And if the Mets aren't going to get the discount on Derek Lowe because he prefers to play in the northeast part of the country, the Mets sure as heck aren't getting a discount on Ollie if he's the only option out there for a top flight pitcher. So then the choice becomes overpay for Ollie, or sign Randy Wolf and pray that he's the next Kyle Lohse.

(At which point whatever God you pray to laughs hysterically and points Pedro Martinez towards the Florida Marlins.)

Sorry Charley

"Something suddenly came up."

-R. Furcal

First A.J. Burnett, and now Rafael Furcal. The Braves need a date for the prom.

But before you laugh at them, consider this: The Braves still have money ... so eventually, someone is going to sign with them.

Also eventually, somebody is going to make an offer to Oliver Perez. In this offseason of economic uncertainty, all rules of engagement (for example, Perez's desire to return to Southern California to pitch) are going right out the window. If you close your eyes, you could see Ollie coming back to Citi Field in a Braves uniform shutting down the Mets three times ... couldn't you?