Gigantes!

Met fans are paying silver prices for tonight's game and gold prices for the weekend games, as part of the Wilpons' atrociously conceptualized "tier pricing system". My question here is: what exactly are the fans paying for, exactly?

• They're paying for no opportunity to boo Armando Benitez.
• They're paying for no chance to perform a "steroid" chant at Barry Bonds.
• They're paying for the privelage to watch...LaTroy Hawkins?

At least Edgardo Alfonzo makes another return home. Other quickies for the Giants series:

Friday: Noah Lowry (2-5, 5.37 ERA) vs. Tom Glavine (3-5, 5.05 ERA)

Bad news for Noah Lowry: The Mets lead the league so far this season in batting average vs. lefties. They're hitting .300, and they also lead the league in OPS (.845) vs. lefthanders. Historically, the Mets have swung the equivalent of wet noodles against lefties, so that was surprising to see. But the Giants themselves are not too shabby against lefties this season, hitting .290. So Tom Glavine may spend much of his evening looking like Charlie Brown himself.

Saturday: Jason Schmidt (3-1, 5.08 ERA) vs. Kaz Ishii (1-3, 4.79 ERA)

Cliff Floyd is lifetime 8 for 20 with 2 HR's and 5 RBI's against Schmidt in his career, and Mike Piazza is hitting .344 lifetime vs. Schmidt with 5 home runs, but most of those at bats came when:

1. Jason Schmidt was still searching for himself with the Pirates, and...
2. Mike Piazza was a productive player, and not the shell of himself he is now.

Ray Durham meanwhile, is hitting .500 against Ishii lifetime.

Sunday: Brett Tomko (4-7, 4.14 ERA) vs. Kris Benson (3-2, 4.21 ERA)

Don't forget boys and girls, the Sunday matchup is the ESPN game at 8:00. Special Metstradamus correspondent Rasheed Wallace is reporting that the Mets and the Giants would split the first two games to drive up ESPN's ratings for the Sunday night game, and that Major League Baseball would get "good people" in there to make sure that happens. Wallace added "if y'all can't see that, @&#% you're crazy."

Danny Graves update from the rags...

Let the Danny Graves bidding begin. The New York Times reports that Omar Minaya has contacted Graves' agent. Then again, he could have contacted him about a recipe, so who knows. Other media outlets have linked Graves to the Marlins, the Nationals, and the Cubs. If your team wins the Danny Graves sweepstakes, does your team really win?

Meanwhile, here's Newsday's David Lennon with the teacher/student relationship between Willie Randolph and Jose Reyes, Jay Greenberg of the Post talks about the Pedro effect at Shea, and Vic Ziegel of the Daily News talks Pedro from a different angle.

Rubber Match...Live Blog!

7:09 PM I take a seat at the home office to live blog the rubber match between the Diamondbacks and the Mets. Got my potato chips and my Diet Vanilla/Cherry Dr. Pepper (the official soft drink of Metstradamus), and the first thing I notice is that Tony Clark is in the lineup. It’s never good news when a former Met is in the lineup.

7:15 PM Pedro Martinez has two outs, two balls, and two strikes on Luis Gonzalez when the freakin’ sprinklers go off. What happened, did the groundscrew think it was a day game? Were they out looking for action on the spelling bee? Pedro was in that commercial where he runs through the sprinklers, and now he gets to do it for real. Only this time, he takes a drink. I see the headlines now: “Martinez to miss next start due to catching cold from bathing in the sprinklers.” Great.

7:17 PM Order restored, as Pedro K’s Gonzalez to keep the no hitter intact. (The Mets have never had a no-hitter in team history, so to hell with superstition. I’m pressing my luck…NO-HITTER NO-HITTER NO-HITTER NO-HITTER…STOP!)

7:20 PM Estes delivers to Jose Reyes. With all the talk about Reyes and walks, I did a little research. The closest leadoff hitter on a winning team that I could find so far to Reyes is Willie Wilson for the 1985 World Champion Royals. In 575 AB’s from the leadoff position, Wilson batted .275, had an OBP of .314, and slugged .400. Wilson only walked 29 times and struck out 90 times. Reyes is on pace for 24 walks in 681 AB’s as his numbers are similar to Wilson’s (.278/.306/.426).

7:24 PM NOOOOOOOOOOW Shawn Estes has a 1-2-3 inning.

7:29 PM Kaz Matsui’s going after a pop-up (holding breath), he caught it (exhales).

7:30 PM There goes the no-hitter. Tony Clark hits a dinger to make it 1-0 Snakes in the second. And what did I tell you about Tony Freakin’ Clark! That’s why I’m Metstradamus, damn it!!!! (Stupid groundscrew and their sprinklers!)

7:39 PM Note to Chris Woodward…this isn’t cricket.

7:42 PM Do I see a Kevin McReynolds jersey in the background, drinking a beer in the first base field level? KEVIN McREYNOLDS?????

7:43 PM First round of boos for Carlos Beltran tonight, as he looks like the 1973 version of Willie Mays, sliding and stumbling on a looping fly to center as the ball goes off his glove, then gets outsmarted by Craig Counsell as he fakes out Beltran and gets him to throw to first as Counsell advances to second. Nice job by Counsell. I wonder if that’s an easy play for Beltran if he’s 100%.

7:51 PM First round of boos for Kaz Matsui.

7:53 PM First reference to the Estes/Clemens game by Mets announcer Dan O’Brien.

7:55 PM First Michael Bloomberg re-election commercial. Do we really have five more months of this?

7:58 PM First round of boos for Tony Clark.

8:02 PM Beltran ties it up with a HR to right center. Stop that booing right now! Beltran oddly enough has hit all 7 of his HR’s with Pedro pitching. This was his first one righty. More importantly, there’s a smile from Beltran in the dugout. Quick, someone massage that quad!

8:04 PM WPIX shows a shot of a “Vote For Pedro” shirt being sold at the concession stands for $24.00. Meanwhile, you can get the original “Vote For Pedro” shirt on eBay for eight bucks. Boy, it’s not bad enough that you get gouged by the Mets on water, iced tea, and premium Giants tickets even though Barry Bonds isn’t playing, now Fred Coupon marks up a pop-culture reference t-shirt 200% and all he does is change the letters from red to blue. I know you spent a lot on Beltran’s contract but come on now!

8:07 PM Welcome back Cornelius! 2-1 Mets

8:08 PM Now there’s the Shawn Estes we know and love! 3-1 Mets

8:15 PM Note to David Wright, your team has enough strained quads, bruised rotator cuffs, and tweaked hamstrings. Please stop diving into second after the ball is fouled off.

8:16 PM When you pull a 6’ 7” first baseman off the bag throwing from second base, it’s a sign you may have contracted Steve Sax disease. Counsell should seek help immediately…that’s his second error of the inning.

8:25 PM WPIX Trivia: Since 1992 who are the two Mets lefthanders to throw complete game one hitters. I know Pete Schourek did it for the Mets but I think that was actually between 89 and 91. I think it’s Estes and Glavine. And I actually got it right…look at that!

8:30 PM I’m going to have nightmares about that replay of Mike Piazza scoring from first base on the Cliff Floyd hit. Why am I all of a sudden getting a vision of Robin Ventura’s rain delay impression of Piazza at Yankee Stadium in 2000?

8:34 PM Doesn’t Craig Counsell look like a Dick Tracy villain?

8:36 PM OH MY WORD WHAT A FREAKIN PLAY BY MIKE CAMERON!!!! Was it pure athleticism? Was it luck? Words can’t do this one justice. Go watch SportsCenter, RIGHT NOW!!!!!

8:41 PM No, I really mean it! Stop reading this and go watch SportsCenter if you haven’t seen the Cameron catch. I haven’t seen anything that ridiculous since they had “Ridiculous Day” at the deli…where prices were so low, they were ridiculous.

8:43 PM Counsell throws another one away. Craig, I know you were on the run but your first baseman is 6’ 7”! What kind of target do you need? Three throwing errors = Steve Sax disease! Watch out D’back fans!

8:45 PM A two run double for Kaz Matsui to make it 5-1. Thanks for waiting until I dropped you from my fantasy team to become useful!

8:47 PM Just a thought, why is Shawn Estes still in the game? He’s down by four and he’s well over the 100 pitch mark.

8:48 PM Pedro gets hit number one as a Met; a tape measure job. No, I mean an actual tape measure. One of those metal hardware store ones that go about 25 feet, because that’s all it traveled.

8:52 PM Oh boo hoo! Look at poor little Shawn Estes showing emotion in the dugout after being pulled…taking it out on the water cooler. Where exactly was this four seasons ago? Estes is the left-handed Donne Wall.

8:56 PM Reyes’ comebacker goes off Estes for a hit in the bottom of the 6th, while Shawn Green’s combacker goes off Martinez and caroms right to Reyes for an out in the 7th. I think this game is officially lights out.

8:58 PM Stupid Tony Clark with his two hits! I hate being right.

9:09 PM Aaron Heilman warms up in the bullpen with the Mets up 6-1 in the 8th. I hope Willie Randolph isn’t going to save Heilman for only garbage time innings. He’s a better pitcher than that.

9:14 PM Another test for Beltran and his quad with a short fly to center. Beltran, who plays a deeper center field than most, made a nice running catch to pass the test.

9:18 PM Good job Pedro.

9:27 PM Heilman comes in to pitch the 9th with the Mets up by five. Again, Aaron Heilman is a better pitcher than that.

9:29 PM Glaus and Green get hits off Heilman, completely blowing my argument. And Tony Clark is up. Uh oh!

9:32 PM Heilman gets Clark out on a fielders choice (exhaling).

9:34 PM Ball game. Mets take two of three from the Snakes. Nice job by Pedro. Go watch SportsCenter.

Bruised Wing

Dae Sung Koo, suspect pitcher/baserunner extraordinare, has in fact been placed on the disabled list with a bruised rotator cuff, and Royce Ring has been called up to take his place as lefty reliever/headline-friendly last name.

Ramon "Fluff" Castro makes his return to the Mets tonight from the DL, as Mike DiFelice has been designated for assignment. Here's the Thursday night lineup:

J. Reyes ss
M. Cameron rf
C. Beltran cf
M. Piazza c
C. Floyd lf
D. Wright 3b
C. Woodward 1b
K. Matsui 2b
P. Martinez p

Dragon Ball "Z"

Elizabeth! This is the big one! I'm coming to join you honey!!!

-Fred Sanford

What else could you possibly say? Eight innings of shutout ball from...no wait, I'm not prepared to say it just yet...the concept sounds so freakin' ridiculous.

Jose Reyes had another his second three hit game in a row to bring his average to .278 (walks, who needs walks?) The first run of the game was Reyes' and Reyes' alone as he singled on a fake bunt, stole second, took third base on a groundout to short as he took off on the throw to first, and scored on Carlos Beltran's grounder. Reyes also had three steals.

The disinterested Mike Piazza (according to ESPN's Buster Olney) drove in what would prove to be the game winner in the 8th, doubling deep to right against Lance "don't call me Rheal" Cormier to score Cliff Floyd to make it 2-0. It was big because Braden Looper gave up an inherited runner in the ninth before getting a key double play (that Kaz Matsui remarkably fielded cleanly), and after a couple of hits, striking out Matt Kata to end the 2-1 win. The middle of the order tonight was better than their putrid Tuesday showing, going four out of eleven and driving in both runs. But still rather scary because if tonight's starting pitcher pitched as normal, that wouldn't have gotten it done. But tonight...

OK, I'm ready...eight shutout innings by Victor Zambrano. To quote Marv Albert "something...that most people...did not think...they would hear...in their lifetime." He was economical with his pitches (99 pitches, which included 60 strikes), he only walked three (and gave up 5 hits), and he outpitched Brandon Webb for crying out loud. And Met fans everywhere are having Redd Foxx moments. Angioplasty, anyone?

Met-lag

I suppose the let-down was inevitable. The Mets just finished a tough road trip against the class of the N.L. East, so an out of division opponent for the first game of a long homestand was bound to be a disaster, and indeed it was. No hitting outside of Reyes (3-4-5 in the order, 0 for 11), no defense (Reyes' blunder costs Benson two earned runs), and no pitching (Benson was average, Koo was horrendous in the seventh) and you have a predictable 7-0 loss. Someone tell the Mets that this isn't the 2004 Diamondbacks that lost a billion games.

Luckily the Fish and the Racist Native American Slurs also lost. The division gets tighter still.

Allow me now to briefly harp on some other Met matters.

Item: Mike DeJean argues with official scorer to saddle David Wright with an error after Sunday's loss to the Marlins.

So let's review, Mr. DeJean. You've had an on-field incident with a manager, and now you've pleaded with an official scorer to save your stats from the depths of hell. And in that process, you've thrown the jewel of the Mets organization under a bus. Oh and by the way, your pitching this season is reminiscent of a Newark crosswind. Congratulations Mike, you have now reached the calibre of a 1993 Met. There's some cotton balls and a bottle of bleach in the corner. Use your imagination.

Item: Jeff Wilpon pulls Mets players from the Mike and the Mad Dog show because of their constant Met rip jobs.

Jeff Wilpon, by any chance did you get your business acumen from Jim Dolan? First you turn the organization into a laughing stock by pretending to know baseball while ordering your puppet Jim Duquette to trade your best pitching prospect for a biology lab cadaver...and now you tell WFAN GM Lee Davis to stop treating your players so badly or I'M GOING TO TELL MY DADDY ON YOU!!! You are not only a suit, you are son of suit...that means if you didn't have a rich father you'd be flipping burgers at a Carl's Jr. somewhere. So stop it. Just stop it. Take the sportscar that daddy brought you and drive until you see fish. Then, go marry a mermaid, organize a corporate takeover of the lost city of Atlantis, and see if you can trade Zeus for Steve Reed.