Wild

It had to be a nutso 24 hours.

With the Mets embarking on their most crucial stretch to date...including 17 of 20 on the road...there were rumors galore on who was coming to the show, who was going down, who was starting, who was sitting, who was having prime rib for dinner...I can only imagine what was happening inside the inner workings of the clubhouse. I heard rumors involving everyone from Dae Sung Sisk to Tim Hamulack (who?) But in the end, we could count on the following:

• Sisk is gone.
• Heath Bell is back (hopefully with the same changeup that Jae Seo learned).
• Mike Jacobs stays (for now), and gets a start at first base.
• Tim Hamulack (who?) stays where he is.
• Steve Trachsel is still in Norfolk (for now).
• And Tom Glavine pitches well in Arizona.

When I heard Glavine's numbers against Arizona (9-3, 2.37 ERA in his career), I thought it was the kiss of death. But Glavine came up with a masterpiece tonight in a 4-1 victory. My friends at Faith and Fear in Flushing have accepted Glavine as a New York Met instead of an ex-Brave. After tonight I'm almost ready to do the same...almost. I still want to see him shut down his former employer in about three weeks.

But tonight was what the Mets needed after a beatdown at the hands of the Expos on Sunday. These aren't just any road games...these are road games that the Mets should win at all costs. the Diamondbacks and the Giants, to be nice, are dogmeat.

Dogmeat!

Now no one knows more than me the problems encounted on the road at the hands of teams in that "dogmeat" category (Colorado, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Seattle). But now that it's late August, it's time for it to stop. Tonight was a great start, but it needs to continue. With the ground the Mets have to make up, no less than 5-2 is acceptable for this road trip.

And if it takes Mike Jacobs at first base (0 for 4 tonight)...if it takes Tim Hamulack in the bullpen...for heaven's sake if it takes the Mets taking their mothers on the road trip to cook meat loaf and make them feel like they're at home, then so be it. Because meat loaf beats dogmeat every time.

Let's Go Meat Loaf.

Let's Go Mets.

***

Good line by Ted Robinson tonight, who said that Kaz Matsui has entered the "Cedeno Zone", for being booed at Shea simply for breathing.

***

Here's hoping that Jose Reyes' recent power surge doesn't go to his head, and that he doesn't revert to old habits.

***

Yusmeiro Petit was called up to Norfolk.

The Mets farm system has taken some shots this season, but most if not all of the Mets top prospects have been called up at least one level during the season. In addition to Petit, Brian Bannister, Lastings Milledge, Gaby Hernandez, Mike Jacobs, and Anderson Hernandez have all moved up in-season, as well as Philip Humber who was injured soon after his call-up. I'm far from an expert on these Mets minor leaguers (virtually every Mets blogger is more versed in these guys than I), but it has to be a good sign that all of the top prospects have made significant progress. With over-30 guys such as Glavine, Gerald Williams, Marlon Anderson, and Jose Offerman etc. on the Mets roster (along with vets like Brian Daubach and Eric Valent still in Norfolk), it's nice to know that there are many who are knocking on the door to the point of banging it down. If the 2006 draft is a home run, if Omar Minaya could lure a couple more of the best Latin prospects such as Fernando Martinez, and if the Mets can place/keep a consistent level of coaching and instruction in the minors, then let the pipeline flow.

Random Items That Just Plain Bug The Ever Loving Bejesus Out Of Me

Remember the Yankee-Hater hat that Curt Schilling brought into our conciousness after he was traded to Boston? Well, it took a year and a half, but the Yankees finally have an answer. I was at Kennedy Airport on Friday when I saw a guy wearing a Red Sox hat...or what I thought was a Red Sox hat. The "B" was backwards.

I thought it was one of those irregular hats that escaped the factory.

No, because I noticed on the side, there was printing that said "Red Sox Hater".

Is that the best that Yankee fans could come up with? I mean, the hat must be popular, so popular that I can't even find a picture of it on the 'net. A backwards "B"? And the hat looked like it was printed at a four foot stand in the Queens Center Mall. Lame. I can just hear Michael Kay now:

"The New York Yankees...the world's most reknown sports franchise...our fans don't have to be smart and clever, because their team has won more world championships than any team in the history of professional sports. Come to the stadium on Wednesday for Jason Giambi sponge night..."

***

Not only does Yankee blogger Darth Marc bug me, he should bug you too.

First, he predictably takes the low road regarding the Cameron/Beltran collision.

Then he attempts to justify it (yes, I really did wallpaper his office with Rally Monkeys in 2002...my greatest work to date).

Now, he has to gall to claim he's a better soothsayer than yours truly.

Let's get two things straight:

1. He's excited because he predicted his team would lose on Sunday and they did. Newsflash: There was only one other possibility. You had a 50/50 chance.
2. And to quote him: "Hindsight is 20/20, but Loaiza would look pretty good as a four or five starter for us right about now, huh?" Well, in my case, foresight was 20/20, because I told Darth Marc in November that the Yankees should hold on to Loiaza, due to the fact that he learned Mariano Rivera's cutter, and was strong in the playoffs.

But I supposedly have nothing on him when it comes to playing soothsayer. OK Darth Fraud, keep honing your comedic talent...no really, I'm in stitches.

***

And since we're on the subject of predictions, I got one more for you...

With Scott Rolen out for the season, don't be surprised if former Met Edgardo Alfonzo, who has cleared waivers, winds up in St. Louis before August 31.

Top that.

A Hill Too Steep

There was a chance, albeit brief, when Cliff Floyd stepped to the plate as the tying run in the seventh against Joey Eischen with the bases loaded...

Swing and a miss.

There was a chance, finally, to get away from the dock and establish the Mets as a team that can vault to the next level...

Swing and a miss.

There was a chance, once and for all, to rip the hearts out of the Nationals and make it their last sight as they crumple to the ground and die along with their 2005 playoff hopes...

Swing and a miss...strike three!

There was no joy in Mudville, for the mighty Floyd struck out.

***

Forget the Mets...perhaps Anna Benson should have offered to sleep with the paying customers today as an apology for her husband's pitching performance. Kris Benson picked today to make a mountain out of a molehill as what probably should have been a one run hole turned into a 6-0 Nationals lead before the first inning was over. It was too big a mountain for the Mets to climb as they lost 7-4...despite getting the tying runs to the plate in the seventh (Floyd) and ninth innings (Wright). You knew it was bad for Kris today when Cristian Guzman hit one hard off of him. That Willie Randolph waited two more batters to pull Benson was a bit odd. Guzman and the pitcher getting hits off of Benson aren't enough proof that he doesn't have it?

For their great escape on Saturday night the Mets, even with Benson on the hill against a team whose offense flows worse than a backed up sink, can't escape who they are...a .500 team.

***

But it wasn't all gloom and doom. Mike Jacobs got his first major league at bat against Esteban Loiaza, who has been a Met killer this year (it can be documented, by the way, that I thought way back in November that getting rid of Loiaza was a bad idea by the Yankees...of course they let him go to a Mets division rival to kill them). Jacobs smacked a three run dinger on his first ever swing to cut the gap to 7-3. Jacobs got a deserved curtain call.

The Great Escape

I hate being right.

Remember these? I've already gotten a handful of them wrong. But tonight? One came true...the wrong one.

The Mets' bullpen still has one major collapse left this season...they'll blow a lead of at least six. -Metstradamus 7/14/2005

You think I bring this up to brag about being a soothsayer? NO! It's a damn curse! Sometimes I wake up screaming at the nightmares I have: Wil Cordero knocking the Mets out of the playoffs...David Wright tearing an ACL, or a PCL, or an MCL, or all three at once...Pedro Martinez gets robbed at gunpoint and gets his fingers chopped off for his World Series ring.

But sometimes, reality is worse than the nightmares: The Mets sign Wil Cordero...two thirds of the Mets outfield re-enact the Malachi crunch from Happy Days...Pedro Martinez gets robbed by his bullpen and has a deep desire to cut off his own fingers.

Let me get this out of the way: Willie Randolph is not at fault here. The Mets are up 8-0, thanks to dingers by Ramon Castro, Jose Reyes, and David Wright, and Pedro has gone six scoreless. There is no reason to extend your ace any further than you have to...there is the rest of the season to think about. And after Frank Robinson yanked Vinny Castilla and Jose Guillen, in effect raising his white flag, there's no reason to believe that an 8 run lead is anything but safe in the top of the seventh.

But alas, there's Danny "Tattoo You" Graves.

I wonder if he even has to go to the parlor to get tattooed...seems to me he doesn't have to leave the mound for that.

Then there's Dae Sung Sisk.

What in the world has Royce Ring done wrong that the lefthanded Sisk is still employed?

Then there's Arm Angle Heilman.

I like Heilman, and he's pitched well lately. But didn't they to make Greg Brady the next Don Drysdale too?

And then, in the ninth, Braden Looper.

I'm starting to get the feeling that he's one ball through the legs away from being Calvin Schiraldi.

Luckily, for all of you, there's Chris Woodward to come in with a paper clip, a rubber band, and a stick of gum...and rescue all of you like MacGyver with his winning base hit in the 10th to help you escape.

Let me just underline a point for you: the Mets 'pen blew an 8-0 lead to the Nationals...

The same Nationals who couldn't hit their way out of a greenhouse made of tin foil if they had double flails instead of bats!

How are you going to beat the Braves again?

Hall Of Hate: The Final Results

The votes are in, and I find it ironic that the week I'm in Las Vegas, a man nicknamed "The Gambler" is the runaway winner of the fan voting for the Hall of Hate.

Kenny Rogers, Derek Jeter, Mo Vaughn, Joe Randa, and M.Donald Grant have received induction into the Metstradamus Hall of Hate, as voted by you, the fans.

Rogers, who walked in the winning run in Game 6 of the 1999 NLCS, plans to attend any ceremony that might be held, but only if there are no cameras.

Jeter, who was the MVP of the 2000 World Series and considered by some to be the most overrated player in baseball, will attend. But as per his custom, during his induction speech, he will not allow anyone to applaud unless he applauds first.

Mo Vaughn, who is fat, said that he would like to put together the menu for the official Hall of Hate induction dinner.

Joe Randa, who looks like Cesar Romero, has promised to learn how to spell "Metstradamus".

And Tim Grant, the son of the late M. Donald Grant has announced that he will commemorate the occasion by trading David Wright for Dan Norman and a sack of Wheat Thins.

Below are the results of the voting, where the top 5 recieved induction:

Kenny Rogers: 86 Derek Jeter: 57 Mo Vaughn: 53 Joe Randa: 43 M.Donald Grant: 41

Pete Rose: 37 (Pete Rose not being inducted...what a shock. Maybe he can open up a wing of the Pete Rose hall of fame by my house!) Jeff Torborg: 34 Dick Young: 32 Joe Torre: 26 Richie Hebner: 20 Jim Duquette: 20 Tony Fernandez:19 (The shock of the voting for me. He may be the Jim Rice of the Hall of Hate.) Doug Sisk: 19 Eddie Murray: 15 Anthony Young: 9 Gene Walter: 6 Alejandro Pena: 5

Write ins:

Leo Mazzone: 1 Carlos Delgado: 1 Buster Olney: 1 John Sterling: 1 Keyshawn Johnson: 1 (I really shouldn't count this, but I hate Keyshawn too.) The Atlanta Braves: 1 John Schuerholz: 1 Bobby Cox: 1 Braden Armando Effin Looper: 1 FacePrint Global Solutions: 1

Here now is an official list of all the inductees of the Metstradamus Hall of Hate:

Mike Scioscia-Charter Member
Jeff Kent-Charter Member
Robby Alomar-Charter Member
Rey Ordonez-Charter Member
Larry Jones-Charter Member
Bobby Bonilla-Charter Member
Vince Coleman-Charter Member
Ken Griffey Jr.-Charter Member
Roger Clemens-Charter Member
Mike Hampton-Charter Member
Mike Scott-Charter Member
John Tudor-Charter Member
David Wells-Charter Member
Armando Benitez-Charter Member
John Rocker-Charter Member
Donne Wall-Charter Member
Mike Stanton-Charter Member
Mike DeJean-Charter Member
Brian Jordan-Charter Member
Eddie Perez-Charter Member
Pat Burrell-Charter Member
Terry Pendleton-Charter Member
Jose Vizciano-Charter Member
Pedro Guerrero-Charter Member
Juan Gonzalez-Charter Member
Whitey Herzog-Charter Member
Art Howe-Charter Member
Dallas Green-Charter Member
Al Harazin-Charter Member
The 1993 Home Uniforms-Charter Member
Kenny Rogers-Voted in 2005
Derek Jeter-Voted in 2005
Mo Vaughn-Voted in 2005
Joe Randa-Voted in 2005
M. Donald Grant-Voted in 2005

Did I Miss Anything?

Boy did I pick a doosy of a time to leave.

The one week that I'm not constantly in front of a computer...what happens? A worm shuts down computers all over the country.

But what more do you expect from a soothsayer?

Let's run down what I've missed:

Sunday: Pedro Martinez pitches a no hitter for 7 and 1/3 innings.

Let this be a lesson to all you travelers out there...Jet Blue is the only way to fly. No, I wasn't watching the game on the plane, but I was tuned to ESPNEWS thanks to Jet Blue's Direct TV service, where by the fourth inning, the best stats scrolled for the Dodgers were: "Saenz: 0-1, Bradley 0-2" I kid you not, I started thinking no-hitter that early. It would figure that the first no hitter in Mets history would be chucked with me at 35,000 feet over the United States.

As the update box showed Martinez with a no-no through six, and the Mets only up 1-0, I thought that either Martinez would get it, or the Mets would lose the game. Once Pedro gave up the hit, I swear to you I turned and said to my wife "the Mets aren't even going to win the game" (you'll just have to take my word for it). Sure enough...

You have to surmise that Carlos Beltran gets to that ball...if for no other reason than that he plays the deepest center field in baseball. Williams jumped too soon, and it was the second day in a row he did that (the first to Jae Seo to stop his scoreless streak on Saturday). Meanwhile, the no-hitter streak lives on.

And speaking of which, a tremendous read put together by the boys at Faith And Fear In Flushing about the exclusive club of no-no breakers, and the man who started it all (you might be surprised). If you haven't read it yet, by all means take a look. And speaking of those guys, they have voted for the hall of hate. Have you? Remember, you still have until 3PM on Saturday, August 20th, to cast your vote. The top 5 get in, and there is still an extremely close race for the 5th spot. Let's just say that there is one runaway winner, which doesn't surprise me.

Monday: Former Met Todd Hundley charged with DUI.

It actually happened the previous Friday, but Monday is when I noticed it. Hundley blames Vicodin, Brett Favre's candy of choice in previous years. For someone who has been labeled as a drinker during his time in New York, the circumstancial evidence doesn't bode well for him. I hope that there isn't more to this.

Tuesday: Kris Benson pitches, hits his was to a victory over his former employers.

Benson has a little chip on his shoulder when he hits, doesn't he? He's got this little Bret Boone bat toss that he breaks out after a solid knock...I've seen this before.

Meanwhile, Benson's bodacious wife Anna appeared on CNBC's "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch" for a panel discussion to discuss a woman's role in a male lockerroom after the Derek Lowe/Carolyn Hughes fiasco. Best moment of the show: The blonde sports columnist from Maxim Magazine claimed that she gets hit on at least twice a day in a Major League Baseball clubhouse, and Donny Deutsch asks Anna if her husband is uncomfortable with women in the lockerroom. Anna says that Kris says he is, to which the blonde Maxim correspondent interrupts "He only tells you that because you're his wife!"

Ba-zing!

Wednesday: Mets defeat Bucs again, Carlos Beltran returns, but Mike Piazza breaks a bone in his hand.

Leave it to Mike Piazza to educate the world on what a pisiform bone is. Did you know what a pisiform bone was?

The pisiform bone is in the most lateral position in the proximal row of wrist bones. It forms in a tendon as a sesamoid bone.

This WebMD update was made possible by frustrated bloggers like you.

Thursday: Mets miss chance to sweep Bucs.

Pop quiz: Who is Zach Duke?

1. A yachting enthusiast from Marin County, CA
2. Don Ameche's character in "Trading Places"
3. The alias of an actor who frequently appears on those movies you see on Cinemax at 3AM
4. None of the above

Of course, the answer is "None of the above". You know that Zach Duke is the Pirate phenom who is obliterating everyone in his wake, including the Mets, during his 6-0 start.

Sobering when you consider that in about a month and change, Duke already has as many victories as Victory Zambrano.

Friday: Mets win 1-0, Jae Seo pitches another gem.

And he has his own cheering section too.

I love how Willie Randolph is managing on feel, rather than by the book, by leaving Seo in to get himself out of trouble in the eighth inning.

Or has Willie just lost his last remaining shred of faith in his middle relief corps?

And now you and I are caught up upon my return to civilization as a more relaxed and refreshed Metstradamus. How long will that last? Hopefully until at least the next time the Royals win a game.

And speaking of which, doesn't Joe McEwing deserve better?