Saturday, January 21, 2006

Daddy, Why Was Santa Traded?

Aaron Heilman, you just got your wish!

Heilman just inherited a spot in the starting rotation as Mr. Anna Benson has been wheeled to the Orioles, in a long rumored deal for Jorge Julio and John Maine as the Santa Claus curse continues.

The Mets are banking that Julio's career will rebound from the "steady decline" that it has been in over the past few seasons, and that Maine, he of the 6.60 lifetime ERA, will do something. But once again, this is a deal that has the Atlanta Braves in mind.

Not the present Atlanta Braves, but Braves of yore.

You see, the Omar Minaya understands that the Wagner and Delgado moves were designed to get to the postseason. The Sanchez and Julio moves are designed to survive in the postseason. You know where all of those great starters got the Atlanta Braves? It got them Mark Wohlers vs. Jim Leyritz in Game 4 of the '96 Series. It got them Buffalo Bills status.

So instead of the "let's sign every washed up reliever in the free world and hope one or two of them stick" game plan that has been the cover of the playbook for years, the Mets are actually making set up men and middle relief a priority. And that's something this soothsayer doesn't mind.

Now let's just hope that it is indeed Heilman that benefits from this move...it would really have to be, since the bullpen is all of a sudden too crowded for Heilman to have a real impact there. Of course, if Heilman fulfills the promise shown in flashes during 2005, then everybody wins.

And as for Kris Benson, I wish him well. He's been a class act in his limited time here. But it's going to be hard and almost unfair to assess this deal from Baltimore's side because Benson is a pitcher that is going to be swallowed up by not only Oriole Park at Camden Yards, but the expectation of being the only pitcher the Orioles managed to get this offseason (what a drop off from Mark Prior, eh?) The good part is that the Orioles don't have to worry about Benson's propensity for physically fading in September, since the Orioles haven't played meaningful games in September since Robby Alomar was motivated. It will be hard for Benson to be known in Baltimore as the bone thrown to Miguel Tejada.

And speaking of bone, you know as well as I do that the only reason Benson made it to New York in the first place is because his wife wanted to be a star. Why do you think Anna raised such a ruckus about being traded to Baltimore in the first place? Think about it...and think about every husband of every spotlight-hungry woman you know. Does the word subserviant come to mind? Does he look and act like Kris Benson does? He does...doesn't he? (Brad Pitt is starting to head to that category if you ask me...but that's another story for another blog.) And now, Anna gets to whine her way all the way to Baltimore because her contract negotiating ability does not match her modeling portfolio and she didn't think enough to suggest a no-trade clause. Oh well.

14 comments:

jabair said...

why couldnt kaz matsui or victor zambrano play santa claus!!!

hind sight is 20/20 i guess..

if willie doesnt figure out NL baseball this year, he better play santa claus next christmas..

Anonymous said...

nice photo shop on the hat!

Baltimore is perfect - Anna can now work her way into a John Waters' movie.

Minglet said...

whats up with the history lessons today?

Metstradamus said...

Seems like someone has bypassed the word verification system. Lovely!!!!

Anonymous said...

God, how hot is Anna Benson in that Santa outfit. I'd put up with anything to F her!

Minglet said...

awesome job with the superbowl predictions metstra!

Metstradamus said...

Q: How many Metstradamus Super Bowl predictions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I don't know, but Jake Plummer and Jake Delhomme are available to hold the ladder!!!

Scott said...

I love the site. Wednesday's post is AWESOME!!!!!!!

But I have one problem and it is a seriously massive problem. Can you get rid of that Fu$&*@g Mets picture in the standings?!?!?!?!? Zeile is dead dude, over, kaput, gone, au revoir, adios, etc. Could you grab a pic of Jesus Wright blsting one or something? We gotta get rid of the old mojo and grab the new one by the short and curly's!

Metstradamus said...

Scott,

Thank you for the kind words. However, there are many who enjoy the Zeile standings. So for now they stay. Maybe we'll put it to a vote soon and see how it goes.

erik love said...

Mestra, i'm back. With an idea!!!

We can have Anna Benson and Kendra Davis wrestle in a mud wrestling match. The winner gets their own realy t.v. show. (They just hand those things out) and the loser has to shut the hell up for the rest of their life.

Me, you and Darth can be the judges....

It can go on your Metsography thang

Hows it sound bro?

Metstradamus said...

e, great idea. I'm just glad you're alive!

jdon48 said...

How do you trade a middle of the rotation pitcher for a reliever you hope will "turn it around"? This is a combo Anna and salary dump. Seo for Sanchez was also a dump. A pain-in-the-ass dump. Peterson hated him so he had to go. I do not consider this building a rotationnor building a contender. Victor "Sominex" Zambrano- the "Great American Dream Machine" has "earned" his way back into the rotation? Bottom line--Heilman, a 2-pitch pitcher-- is better suited to the BP--unless he has miraculously developed a 98 MPH FB. Please tell me this is all part of a pitch for Zito--even if it isn't true.

Metstradamus said...

Well Billy Beane did covet John Maine in the past so...

Kyle in Newport News said...

Re the Zeile standings: They, along with the heading, "NL BEAST", sucked me into the Metstradamus world. Picture and text appreciation followed soon after.